Johnson Hall needs air conditioning

The temperature is 100 degrees, the humidity is 100 percent, and that’s inside my dorm room. Sweat pours down my face and plops in little droplets onto my keyboard. The fan in the corner oscillates uselessly, blowing more of the already abundant hot air my way, taunting me with its false promise of relief from the sweltering heat. I am living in the kinds of conditions that the Occupational Safety and Health Administration shut down businesses for. It’s too hot to breathe, yet I am supposed to be studying? Fat chance; I can barely rouse the energy to sweat.

Yes friends, I live in Johnson Hall, which is famous for its historic beauty, but mostly for its lack of air conditioning. When I tell fellow students where I live it is always met with snickers and noises of sympathy. In this technologically advanced age where we can clone sheep I am still sitting here in my room that has no air conditioning wondering where I went wrong. The prisoners down the road at the city jail get air-conditioned cells, why can’ t I?

Is it perhaps a question of money? The first-year class alone had brought in more than $17 million this semester, according to my own rough calculation, and since Johnson is basically an all first-year dorm I think that some of this money that we forked over might be put to good use improving the living conditions here. I could be wrong, but I don’t think that installing air conditioning is asking for much. It is one of those commodities that has become standard in virtually every American home and workplace.

The main qualm I have with this no air-conditioning business is that it definitely interferes with our academic performance. My roommate, a dedicated student who studies for a majority of the day, can’t sit still for the heat. She is up and down, pacing and fanning herself, ranting and raving. She, like all of the rest of us, just simply can’t concentrate when it is so hot that the words on the pages are practically melting and dripping off onto the floor. It’s just a ridiculous way to live.

On the other hand, fall is almost here and with it will come the refreshing cool weather that will put an end to this sticky, sweaty season that presently encompasses us. Oh, how I look forward to the days when the elevator doesn’t feel so much like a sauna and we can walk up the stairs without suffering heatstroke! I just hope that this place has heat. . .