The 7 people you meet at VCU

We all have seen the Facebook groups about the summaries of 99 percent of the people you meet in college. Well, now you have the seven people you will meet right here in Richmond-all you have to do is go to a party or to class.

1. The Drunk Crying Girl

This is the girl who, despite not being able to hold her alcohol, insists on drinking a lot of it very quickly and then proceeds to cause more drama than a third world war. Drunk Crying Girl also is widely known as Drunk Crying Girlfriend and can be seen throwing empty $5 wine bottles around her living room. She also can be seen on her front porch in The Fan, or walking through campus late at night telling her friends that no one understands.
Drunk Crying Girl consistently will get upset every time she has had too much to drink. Every week, Drunk Crying Girl’s friends will swear off partying with her. It is a sick, never-ending cycle.

2. The Student Government Association Officer

SGA Officers can be seen running around the University Student Commons, secretly planning hostile takeovers and fighting loudly with one another about anything that has ever happened in SGA. The only thing they trust less than each other is the student media.
This student has a Blackberry, which must be checked at all times because SGA Officers are very important and do many things that are way more important than anything you will ever do.

SGA Officer is going to be a U.S. senator one day and takes their job in VCU’s SGA very seriously-because it is very serious. Much more serious than anything you will ever do. SGA Officer cannot be caught doing anything bad-ever. It will ruin their future political career.

3. The Hipster

The Hipster rides his bike everywhere, including to his friends’ houses to drink his Pabst Blue Ribbon. The Hipster judges people who are not “scene” enough, while smoking his
cheap cigarettes. He/she has made it clear that flannel was not laid to rest with Kurt Cobain. The Hipster listens to bands you have never heard of, and judges you some more for never having heard of those bands.The best places to find The Hipster lurking around campus is in front of Shafer, at shows at Rumors and Nara Sushi. Bicycle shops are also very popular.

4. The Art Student

Well, duh. Don’t act like you are surprised. You know what VCU is nationally known for.

5. The Rabid Alcoholic

This could be your roommate, your best friend, or your roomate’s best friend. The Rabid Alcoholic is pretty self-explanatory but does fall into two subcategories:

1. The guy/girl that no one is sure is actually an alcoholic. However, interventions have been discussed.

2. The rest of the college population that imbibes alcohol at any given point.

Everyone has their own individual stories about The Rabid Alcoholic. There is so much room for creativity. The Rabid Alcoholic is always the most fun of your friends to go out with, for obvious reasons.

6. The Overly Tanned Girl

It’s that time of year. Everyone has spring fever and is either prepping for spring break or summer vacations. While tanning beds are harmful, they also are delightfully addictive. Overly Tanned Girl can be found at any tanning salon. Just look for the ridiculously bronze people with glaringly white teeth.

Even though it is the end of February, Overly Tanned Girl looks like she has spent months at the beach in the middle of July. She is just “building up her base tan.”

7. The Library Regular

The Library Regular loves to study – at the library – every day. It does not matter whether they actually have homework. The Library Regular will consistently be on the first floor of the library, socializing and overseeing everything.

The Library Regular can also fall under the umbrella of SGA Officer, but not always. They know the reference librarians by name and are handy to have around because they always know how to fix your internet when it does not work.

There is no better place to stereotype people than on a college campus. VCU has a mix of everybody, so there is a 100-percent chance you will either know one of these above people, or are one of these people. Embrace it.