Welcome to incoming students

    Dear 2008 Incoming Students,
    Welcome to VCU, home of the Rams and—many other wonderful things, including that ridiculous sculpture outside of Grace E. Harris Hall. We can gloss over that, however, considering about half of you either have no idea what I’m talking about or have no idea where Harris Hall is, or both.
    We – I, especially – are very glad you chose VCU as the place to continue your education, turning from bright-eyed kids into the older, jaded, chain-smoking kids VCU is known for—just look at me and my friends. For your reading pleasure, I have put together a somewhat rag-tag list of dos, don’ts and simple observations about VCU and Richmond in general. So read on, and thank me later.
    Do go to a late-night movie at the Byrd Theatre in Carytown—you know, that place with the fancy stores and restaurants your parents wanted to visit on Move-In Day. At $2 a ticket, the Byrd doubles as a cheap date and an alternative to partying or hanging out in the dorms. The Byrd also shows movies that have left mainstream theaters and are not out on DVD yet. Your favorites still can be caught on the big screen.
    Don’t eat at Shafer Court Dining Center for every meal. Every horror story told about our glorious buffet-style eatery might not be 100 percent true, but if you want to stay away from gaining anywhere between 30 to 40 pounds before Halloween, take an opportunity to explore some of the restaurants around campus. Or just do what I did and eat Easy Mac—cheap and delicious.
    Do have a fun semester without getting kicked out of the dorms. I know it’s hard, but I did it and so can you. Nobody wants to be homeless in the middle of October with community service to do on top of everything else.
    Don’t take Beer Pong too seriously. Nobody likes that person; don’t be that person. This is not an Olympic sport; you are not Michael Phelps, and you are not trying to break a world record for most shots made. The only person who cares that you’re better at Beer Pong than everybody else is you.
    The Commonwealth Times and I in no way condone this or any other illegal act, but for those freshmen with sketch friends or older brothers – and who have the “over-21 hookup,” as we will call it – Don’t go to Baja Bean Company. Don’t ask me why, just stay away. This means all of you, of course, will flock to Baja in droves – the whole forbidden-apple theory and all that – but don’t say I never warned anybody.
    Do be wary of Franklin Street Gym. The pool for students and faculty is just plain scary, especially because pieces of the roof literally are falling into the deep, dark dungeon that is the deep end of the pool. For souls brave enough to swim in these waters, go ahead. For the rest of us—take the shuttle and swim at the MCV gym. The water is shallow, the lights are bright, and the doctors are handsome.
    Freshmen: Do walk in herds of 35 people. Yes, it is absolutely necessary to walk the three blocks from the dorms to Shafer with your entire floor and some friends you meet along the way. Sure, it is hard to cross the street at the appropriate signal, leaving drivers and cyclists irate and possibly homicidal, but that’s okay—everyone will know you are really popular when you and your 35 companions sit in the quiet section of Shafer, totally defeating its purpose. While you’re at it, hang out in the middle of the University Student Commons in the afternoon and walk very slowly to get to your next class.
    Do make sure to take advantage of the nice weather for as long as possible. Make a trip out to Belle Isle to walk around or to sunbathe and swim in the James River. Belle Isle is a quiet place in a loud city and, with giant rocks along – and in the middle of – the river, is also a great place to work on a tan. Parking can be limited, especially on weekends, but the distance is walkable and a great excuse to use that bike you just bought.
    Don’t buy an expensive bicycle, unless you are positively sure you will use it. I’ve met too many people who invested in a bike and used it twice. However, keep in mind, Richmond is a great city to bike around, especially to go exploring downtown.
    On a final note, enjoy your first semester here at VCU; I know I will and I’ve been here for two years. I’m sure there are more “Dos and Don’ts” to come, so stay tuned. Go Rams!