Thursday, Feb 12, 2026
Dylan Hostetter, Executive Editor There are some moments in your life that just feel more consequential than others. Graduating college is a big deal. I mean, the last time I wore a gown it was because I was hospitalized for doing a sleep study on myself. Take it from me, sleep-walking through a collegiate fencing tournament is no way to spend an afternoon. That sleep study is actually one of my earliest memories in college. It’s really crazy to think about all I’ve been through; from that time I made a replica of myself using artificial intelligence, to when I befriended that leprechaun. I’m beginning to think the effects of that sleep study on my brain may be more intense than I previously realized — but I digress. As my alarm clock blared on the morning of my graduation, it finally hit me. It was all over. No longer would I travel the world while in Zoom classes, solve mysteries in my oversized trench coat or fight off ram-filled tornadoes. OK really, what is wrong with my life? After the flood of memories made its way through my mind, I finally took the time to realize I was 30 minutes
Katie Meeker, Contributing Writer I wake up to another day in the beautiful city of Richmond, Virginia. I yawn, get up and brush my teeth. As I get dressed for the day, I check the weather on my phone — oh, good, it looks like it’s another day of miserably cold temperatures followed by miserably hot temperatures. At least it’s not raining. It’s already 9 a.m. — I’d better get going soon, I want to do some studying in Cabell library before my final this afternoon. All dressed, I take a step out of my apartment and am immediately attacked by a gust of pollen. My eyes burning and throat raw, I hack and rub the yellow dust out of my eyes as I cross the street, cursing. I jump back as I am nearly hit by a car running a red light. Typical Broad Street. As I get closer to campus, dodging another near car crash on Franklin Street, I can hear the soothing, extremely disruptive tones of the self-proclaimed preacher that haunts the edges of the Compass. Taking a wide berth around him, wary of his spittle and comments on my looming eternal damnation, I finally reach the
Dylan Hostetter, Executive Editor There are some moments in your life that just feel more consequential than others. Graduating college is a big deal. I mean, the last time I wore a gown it was because I was hospitalized for doing a sleep study on myself. Take it from me, sleep-walking through a collegiate fencing tournament is no way to spend an afternoon. That sleep study is actually one of my earliest memories in college. It’s really crazy to think about all I’ve been through; from that time I made a replica of myself using artificial intelligence, to when I befriended that leprechaun. I’m beginning to think the effects of that sleep study on my brain may be more intense than I previously realized — but I digress. As my alarm clock blared on the morning of my graduation, it finally hit me. It was all over. No longer would I travel the world while in Zoom classes, solve mysteries in my oversized trench coat or fight off ram-filled tornadoes. OK really, what is wrong with my life? After the flood of memories made its way through my mind, I finally took the time to realize I was 30 minutes
Katie Meeker, Contributing Writer I wake up to another day in the beautiful city of Richmond, Virginia. I yawn, get up and brush my teeth. As I get dressed for the day, I check the weather on my phone — oh, good, it looks like it’s another day of miserably cold temperatures followed by miserably hot temperatures. At least it’s not raining. It’s already 9 a.m. — I’d better get going soon, I want to do some studying in Cabell library before my final this afternoon. All dressed, I take a step out of my apartment and am immediately attacked by a gust of pollen. My eyes burning and throat raw, I hack and rub the yellow dust out of my eyes as I cross the street, cursing. I jump back as I am nearly hit by a car running a red light. Typical Broad Street. As I get closer to campus, dodging another near car crash on Franklin Street, I can hear the soothing, extremely disruptive tones of the self-proclaimed preacher that haunts the edges of the Compass. Taking a wide berth around him, wary of his spittle and comments on my looming eternal damnation, I finally reach the
Natalie McEwan, Opinions and Humor Editor Lauren Prattis, Audience Editor Summer and graduation are just around the corner, and with that comes internship applications, summer jobs and postgraduate opportunities that may all make you want to rip your hair out. But don’t fret, Rams! Dr. Times, resident expert, is here to answer all your questions about the workplace. Dear Dr. Times, I’ve never been able to nail down the “office siren” look that’s been going viral on TikTok. Do you have any tips or tricks? Sincerely, Not filling out a pantsuit Dear Reader, Another client was telling me about this new trend. I don’t believe in the internet so I’m not all that tuned into what the kids are doing these days, but I’ll give it my best shot. I think the best way to execute the look is to fully immerse yourself into siren culture. Take a few voice lessons to make sure your singing voice is in the best shape possible — your coworkers are bound to be absolutely captivated. From what I understand, you can’t buy the attire at the mall, so you’re going to have to collect the shells from the ocean and make it
Lauren Prattis, Audience Editor Natalie McEwan, Opinions and Humor Editor With spring weather filling the air, The Commonwealth Times staff are focusing on their health, spending time outside and enjoying springtime holidays. Naturally, they turned to Dr. Times for advice on how to have the best spring possible. Dear Dr. Times, I’ve been eating a lot of easter eggs lately, and I got sick to my stomach. What should I do? Sincerely, Fried, scrambled and boiled Dear Reader, First, I would advise you to drive to your nearest pet store as soon as you can — you only have about 24 hours before you should expect to see any physical changes. The first thing you need to purchase is an enclosure that is about 12 square feet. If you really want to splurge, you could get a multi-level cage with an elaborate tunnel system. To ensure you get enough fresh air, I recommend clearing a space in your backyard and securing it with a wire cage. For your comfort, get a few packages of hay so you have a pleasant and snug place to sleep so you’re well rested during the twilight hours. Before it’s too late, make sure
Lauren Prattis, Audience Editor Natalie McEwan, Opinions and Humor Editor With spring weather filling the air, The Commonwealth Times staff are focusing on their health, spending time outside and enjoying springtime holidays. Naturally, they turned to Dr. Times for advice on how to have the best spring possible. Dear Dr. Times, I’ve been eating a lot of easter eggs lately, and I got sick to my stomach. What should I do? Sincerely, Fried, scrambled and boiled Dear Reader, First, I would advise you to drive to your nearest pet store as soon as you can — you only have about 24 hours before you should expect to see any physical changes. The first thing you need to purchase is an enclosure that is about 12 square feet. If you really want to splurge, you could get a multi-level cage with an elaborate tunnel system. To ensure you get enough fresh air, I recommend clearing a space in your backyard and securing it with a wire cage. For your comfort, get a few packages of hay so you have a pleasant and snug place to sleep so you’re well rested during the twilight hours. Before it’s too late, make sure
Dylan Hostetter, Opinions and Humor Editor As soon as I opened my eyes I could tell that something was off. We were a week out