The CT Love Connection 2013: Lucky couple treated to whirlwind blind date

Nick Bonadies
Contributing Writer

Read more about The CT’s blind date recipients here.

First date jitters

Freshman theatre performance major Kaelie Ukrop gazed pensively at the off-beige walls of the Student Media Center Monday, Feb. 11, rocking back and forth in an office chair.

“The butterflies are … all around,” she said, capturing the moment. “So much excitement. Fluttering … all on the inside.” In mere minutes, Ukrop was due to meet freshman anthropology and Spanish major Alex Cortes for the very first time — Cortes, the other recipient of the 2013 Commonwealth Times blind date, and soon-to-be love of Ukrop’s life. In the adjoining hallway, Cortes described his own mental state.

“On my way here I just realized that … in a few days it’s Valentine’s Day, and that’s why you guys (set up a blind date),” he said. “Right?”

Locking eyes 

“Oh my god,” Cortes exclaimed, as newfound light-of-his-life Ukrop turned the corner to face him at last. “I know you!”

“Oh, hey, Alex,” Ukrop said, scarcely able to contain her excitement. “What’s up?” In addition to a long and happy future together writ large in the furthest reaches of the cosmos, it also happened that Cortes and Ukrop share a second-semester Focused Inquiry class.

“How are you?” Ukrop said.

“Good,” Cortes said.

“That’s good,” Ukrop said, herself and Cortes perched on the edge of the rest of their young lives, perhaps frightened to fall and yet — in that moment — never more ready.

The Lovemobile pt. I

Commonwealth Times chaperones, wishing to meet the happy couple’s dinner reservations in a timely fashion, escorted Cortes and Ukrop outside to the CT Lovemobile, revved and ready to shield the couple from both wind and moisture on their journey.

Settled in the Lovemobile’s spacious-yet-cozy back seat, the young couple was immediately immersed in the heady ambience of an expert-curated “Audio Aphrodisiac” playlist.

“So,” said Cortes, his voice nestled snugly in the midrange of Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing,” “What music do you like?”

Having covered the intimate particulars of each other’s lives at record speed, the couple turned their conversation to the surreal serendipity of print news-sponsored romance.

“I wasn’t really expecting to get picked at all,” Ukrop said of her decision to submit an application. “I am expecting marriage and nothing less,” she added.

“Wait,” Cortes said. “I don’t want to get married, ever.”

“It was a bad joke,” Ukrop replied.

They paused to collect their respective breaths and composures, as well as to take in the unique charm of I-64 and the bittersweet strains of Sinead O’Connor’s ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’: “All the flowers that you planted, mama / In the back yard / All died when you went away.”

Some time later, at O’Connor’s sixth reprisal of the ’90s hit and approximately its 20th straight minute in play, it became apparent that the “Audio Aphrodisiac” playlist had become stuck on repeat.

“Haven’t we listened to this already?” Cortes said.

The expensive dinner: KANPAI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE

A jaunt through the dazzling suburban shop-tropolis of Short Pump brought the Lovemobile and its occupants to their premier destination. “This place is packed,” Cortes said, looking out at a spacious, tastefully decorated and almost entirely empty Kanpai Japanese Steakhouse.

“Wait,” he added, addressing the CT chaperones as they collected their completely theoretical reservation for four. “You guys are sitting with us? … Really?”

The couple became so engrossed in their conversation that they nearly missed the attendant hibachi chef working a spectacle of flying cutlery and culinary magic on the sizzling grill before them: tossing a raw egg between dueling razor-sharp knife edges, slicing it sideways in a blur of steel, yellow goo entrails splayed across the piping-hot arena. A yolk divided, and so conquered.

“You’re a pro,” Cortes said. A nearby 30-something couple, the restaurant’s sole other patrons, offered their applause.

“There’s still an activity after this,” Ukrop said. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Cortes agreed. “I have an exam at 8 a.m.”

The Lovemobile pt. II

Four more repetitions of O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” passed before CT Chaperones identified the error, allowing the “Audio Aphrodisiac” Playlist to proceed.

“This is better,” Cortes said over the first lines of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On:” “I’ve been really tryin’, baby / Tryin’ to hold back these feelings for so long / And if you feel like I feel baby / Come on, oh come on, let’s get it on.”

“Good pick,” Ukrop said.

The couple had just begun comparing the merits between John Lennon’s “Imagine” and contemporary Christian group MercyMe’s “I Can Only Imagine” when the Lovemobile pulled in to the surprise post-dinner activity’s parking lot.

“Dude, I’ve already got bowling shoes on, I think,” Cortes said.

L’Activité passionnante: AMF SUNSET LANES

“This is a serious … bowling scent,” Cortes said, stepping into an effusive bouquet of pizza, ultra-glide wax and anti-fungal shoe spray. Slogans streaked across the lanes – “Eat like you mean it!”, “Don’t bowl thirsty!”, or AMF’s signature “We’re all bowlers!” – seemed to join in with the exultant cheers of families and friends, all in for a long haul of late-night bowling. Ukrop expressed concern about whether her lack of socks would pose an issue.  

Cortes and Ukrop demonstrated skill with the ball from the kickoff at Lane 24, their alternating throws landing them with near-ties at the end of each game. A palpable sense of camaraderie, perhaps from a shared struggle versus the pin, began to blossom.

“He’s nice,” Ukrop said of her surprise suitor in a private moment with CT chaperones. “Very talented bowler,” she added.

For his part, Cortes responded to a similar inquiry in the form of three adjectives. “Relatable, interesting, friendly,” he said. Despite strong encouragement from CT chaperones to use more of the unlimited games they had purchased, Cortes and Ukrop decided not to let too much fun ruin an already perfect evening.

The Lovemobile pt. III

“Let’s switch up, just because,” Cortes said, taking the Lovemobile’s right-hand window seat instead of the left. “Keeping the evening interesting,” Ukrop said.

“How did that go?” Ukrop said, after Cortes mentioned his older brother, who once showed promise as a rap artist. “(My career) was better than his,” admitted Cortes, who in the rap world goes by the alias CRTS.

On enthusiastic prompting from both Ukrop and the CT chaperones, Cortes agreed to share his one recorded song on the Lovemobile’s cutting-edge speaker system, cutting short Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by at least an entire chorus.

“Yeah, get ready,” he said. “This is so dope.”

“’Cus ya / Too fly for ya clothing / Coming off like erosion,” CRTS orated through the subwoofers. The beat and the bass coalesced with the Broad Street twilight to cast a hushed awe over the Lovemobile’s occupants – a quiet wonder, perhaps, at all life’s pleasant curve balls, at all the treasures to be found in newspaper-facilitated dating with acquaintances.

“Backdrop not imposing / You look sick like poison,” CRTS intoned. “Not hot but gat damn you are scorchin’.”

L’Adieu

Outside the Gladding Residence Centers, which Cortes and Ukrop both call home, the Lovemobile pulled to a final stop. Its engine hummed softly; its rear door swung ajar.

“This was a great experience,” Ukrop said, noting that she would see Cortes in class the next day. “Absolutely,” she added.

“Okay,” Cortes said at last. “See you guys.” As the happy couple lingered outside the GRC doors, the CT chaperones watched, helpfully blasting a final reprisal of “Nothing Compares 2 U” through the Lovemobile’s open windows.

Cortes and Ukrop looked back, perhaps wondering when the Lovemobile would rejoin the flow of traffic and drive away.