‘Don’t Dream It’s Over’ by Crowded House. Best Song ever? Yes.

Once in a lifetime, a song comes along that is so inspiring, so melodically erotic and seductive, straight men will be forced to challenge their sexuality because of how awesome it sounds. “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House is one of those songs.

Granted, the song came out in 1986, three years before I was born, but man, does it sure stand the test of time. I am not ashamed to say that it is indeed the greatest song ever. Am I technically the ultimate authority and supreme decider for choosing best song of all time? Well, I am a rapper; I have a MySpace music page and have accumulated a total of about 300 plays. So, yes, I am qualified to make this claim.

First off, song aside – the music video – that lead singer is a tall glass of water. Let me tell you. His voice tickles me and makes me chuckle and giggle like a school girl and wiggle like a squiggly line. There is not a single ugly guy in the band, and they are allowed over at my house any time. I live in a studio apartment, so it would get pretty crowded-a crowded house!

They would serenade me all day with this infectious, beautiful auditory infection. I would not try to cure the infection; rather I would cherish it, as if it were a laceration that bled sprinkles and strawberry syrup instead of icky blood.

Please, everyone, do yourself a favor; listen to “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House. With this economy and the violent crime in Richmond increasing at an alarming rate, we all need something to believe in.

P.S. Sarah Sonies, you are hilarious. I love your column and top 10 lists. Thank you for your time.