10 things I’ve noticed lately v. 2.0

Just when you thought that maybe, just maybe, I was done making lists about absolutely random things, there’s more.

1. It’s bad luck for VCU men’s basketball to wear the
gold jerseys. Very bad luck. We lost to Old Dominion University in gold last year and Tuesday night we lost to Northeastern University. Although the gold jerseys might look snazzy, we’re still second in the conference.

2. Why do heterosexual people, especially college girls, enjoy frequenting gay clubs? I get it, it’s an opportunity to dance without being grabbed by scary dudes all night. But really, if you’ve seen one drag show, you’ve seen them all. Besides, if you’re a straight college girl, there should be nothing that makes you feel less attractive than going to a gay club. Think about it.

3. The University Student Commons has finished building their extension. Everyone should be very thankful for the larger entrance on the Floyd Street side, mostly because you no longer gain five new friends-with-benefits when you are just trying to walk to class.

Along with the widening of one of the entrances, the Commons also has two Subways. There is an additional sandwich station, which should mean less lines and faster service. Wrong. One of them is never open. So really, there is just more space to form the gigantic, slow-moving lines. I know we are in a recession VCU, but wouldn’t it make sense to utilize both Subways to their fullest potential?

4. Spring Break is in approximately five weeks. Amen. Now, who wants to go rage in Canada? Cancun is so 2001.

5. I have decided to build a tall bike, because tall bikes are cool and it’s like that guy at that Oregon Hill party said, “It feels so good to ride a tall bike because you are higher than everybody else.”
Honestly, I just want to ride around screaming, “I’m the king of the world!” I don’t think that is too much to ask.

6. Has anyone actually gone out and purchased a Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia Obama doll made by Ty? Those things are hideously creepy and look like Webkinz-those toys which you can give online personalities. Will they be pulled from the shelves, considering Michelle Obama does not approve? My brain is swimming with so many unanswered questions.

7. Nobody complains about the new Facebook layout anymore. Remember, at first, how resistant we were to change? Well, now we barely remember what the term “old Facebook” means. The days of the old Facebook layout might have been simpler, but they are long gone and forgotten.

8. With the state of America’s economy, every college and graduate student should stay in school as long as possible. Seriously, just refuse to graduate. How else to better ride out a recession than by just not graduating? Do anything to keep you from having to graduate and facing the near impossible task of finding a job.

At the end of the day, wouldn’t you rather be faced with having to study for finals than sending 3,000 resumes out to get three calls? After all, you can’t spell “down” without “Dow.”

9. Life got boring when Britney Spears stopped being (visibly) crazy. I miss the shaved head, the screaming and crying and failed comebacks on MTV. I miss it so much, it hurts. The heavily sedated Britney just isn’t the same-she washes her weave too often.

10. Gov. Sarah Palin has been very quiet lately. This can’t mean anything good .