The logic of misanthropy

Sometimes, I get odd looks for telling my peers that “I hate people but love persons.” In the grand scheme of everything, humanity as a whole is a selfish, hateful lot. Culture and the cultivation of the arts are the very scant things we can be proud of, and even then they have usually been corrupted by immortalized materialism, censorship or complete disregard. After all, art does not pay the bills.

When I read Alex Jones’ article in last week’s Commonwealth Times, I was really more amused than anything else. Here was a man scorned who, in his trials and tribulations with the opposing gender, sank time and again because of certain ineffable atrocities in the female character.

Meanwhile, within mere days, some women were snapping at his bait. I grew even more amused. Ploys at suggesting therapy, insulting him for his commentary and bringing in the most feminist-scented barrage possible were among the colorful words of VCU’s active female body (double entendre not intended).

Even standing here as a woman, I did not root for any of the students who wrote in – just as I did not entirely agree with Jones. Holding some banner for one sex or the other is not admirable; people are scum. Everyone is. Everyone has things about them that are despicable, that are bad, that are wholly reprehensible. Making some public display that says that some person or group fits into a specific category – dogs, whores, whatever you want to say – is laughable at best.

Pride of any kind is overrated. The more we press the label of sticking with a particular group as “pride” or “celebration” the more everyone ostracizes everyone else. It is not pride. You may like saying: “That’s not true! I’m fine with everyone doing whatever they want!” But you are only trying to justify the fact that behind closed doors you either harbor a similar resentment just as that other group does or you tolerate them because you don’t want to look like a fascist or acknowledge what you don’t like about other people.

I do not take things personally. I do not let things people say bother me. When people make these sweeping generalizations, it is only because they are afraid of getting to know people as people. They do not want to make exceptions to their rules. Nobody wants to get caught saying, “He’s OK, even if he is _____ .”

Sometimes, hiding behind a cause makes things easier. If you are fighting for a cause, fight for all that you are worth. But don’t tear into the guy standing next to you who is fighting for the same thing but who is not the same as you. Don’t set these boundaries that say that only people of one race or sexuality or lifestyle can fight for something. Everyone hurts. Everyone bleeds. Your pain isn’t some phallus for you to measure and boast that it’s bigger than everyone else’s.

Letting labels get in the way of knowing people only breeds bitterness and anger. If people insist on generalizing and summing up a breed of people based on their experience, it is their own failure. Reacting in turn only forms a circular argument that will not convince anyone and will make you look no better or worse than the original perpetrator. Give it time. They’ll eat their feet eventually.