Dinner and a movie

Yes, there are talking ostriches, gender-bending strippers and glowing rubiks cubes featured in this film, but at it’s core, “Dude, Where’s My Car?” is about…nothing. This wacky two-day adventure is a hilarious romp through the trials that Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (Sean William Scott) go through to find Jesse’s car.

While “Dude” didn’t exactly improve Kutcher and Scott’s acting chops, it did speak well for their comic timing. Their serious acting in the most ludicrous scenes was what made the film great. Chester’s genuine concern for the dummy that the police officer was abusing cracks me up.

Zoltan and his crew of cronies were some of the best characters. Turtle, who played Jeff, must be mentioned because he was the funniest part of the movie. The serious way in which he played the song “Bubble Bunch” on his keyboard as Zoltan jogged down the steps at their meeting is hysterical.

Pat Finn also did an amazing job with his small part as Rick. The improvisational quality of his scene with Jessie and Chester is highly amusing. He works at the police station that Jesse and Chester are sent to and accidentally impounds their car. “Who’s the goose? Me,” is his best line.

The “totally gay nordic dudes,” as Chester refers to them, are another part of the movie that is enjoyable. Christian Middlethon and David Bannick are the protectors of the Continuum Transfunctioner, which Jessie and Chester were given to look after.

Kutcher’s need to continuously call the Continuum Transfunctioner “Continual Trans-sphincter” is another part of the movie that gets me every time.

The low points of “Dude, Where’s My Car?” can definitely be attributed to the women, aside from Mary Lynn Rajskub as space nerd Zelmina. Marla Sokoloff (Wilma) is a talented actress but she did not have the brand of comedy needed to pull this movie off. Jennifer Garner (Wanda), Kristy Swanson (Christie Boner) and the alien jumpsuit chicks were just ridiculous though.

I am not positive whether it is fair to blame them or the writers for their nails-on-a-chalkboard painful performances. Either way, “Dude, Where’s My Car?” belongs to the boys.

Most of the credit for this movie usually goes to Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott, but some of the funniest moments belong to the smaller characters. This silly story is built on the comedic talents of a large group of actors.

Chinese Food: “Hey, I refuse to play your Chinese food mindgames,” Jessie said. But we all know this lovable dope

would do anything for some Wonton Soup and Fried Rice.

Wonton Soup

Water 2 qt.

Chicken Base 1/2 cup

Beef Base 1 1/2 Tbs.

Ground ginger 1 Tbs.

Bok Choy 1 head

Bean sprouts, fresh 1/2 lb.

Salt to taste

White pepper to taste

Wontons, pork, lg. 12 ea.

1. Place water in steam kettle or sauce pot, bring to a boil.

2. Add chicken and beef bases and whisk until dissolved.

3. Reduce heat to a simmer and add salt and spices.

4. Cut bok choy into small pieces and drain. Rinse bean sprouts and reserve.

5. In a separate pot, boil wontons in wontons just as you would pasta.

6. Add bok choy to broth mixture.

7. Ladel soup equally into bowls, add one wonton to each bowl.

Fried Rice

2 1/2 cups of cooked medium grain white rice – Completely Cooled use a high quality medium grain white Japanese calrose rice for best flavor.

2 eggs – beaten, seasoned with salt and cooked like a thin omelet and cut into small squares

1 large carrot, diced small

Ham – 1 cup, diced into small cubes. (Or you can use chicken, turkey, steak, pork, roast beef – this is a wonderful dish to make if you have leftover meats.) 3-4 bunches of fresh green onion, diced small soy sauce (* You can also use any other of your favorite vegetables. Celery and peas are very good.)

1. Cook rice according to package.

2. In a large skillet, heat a couple of teaspoons of oil to keep the egg from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Pour the beaten eggs and cook like a thin omelet. Remove from heat, cut into 1/2″ square pieces.

3. Using the same pan, add a little more oil and heat. Fry the diced carrots and ham until the carrots are slightly tender.

4. On low heat, add several scoops of cooled rice and mix. Keep adding a scoop of rice and mix.

5. Add the diced green onions and diced “omelet style” eggs and mix lightly.

6. While mixing, slowly add a little soy sauce at a time.

Add soy sauce until the color of the fried rice is a slight golden brown color.

7. Fry the rice mixture, add salt and pepper to taste.