Fatherhood Mix & Mingle, navigating connection and identity
Three fathers connect during the MLK Fatherhood Mix and Mingle event. Photo by Bri Stevens.
Bella LoBue, Contributing Writer
The Mary and Frances Youth Center and the VCU Division Of Community Engagement held an event that celebrated fatherhood on Jan. 17. Fathers connected in a safe and supportive space to explore meaningful ways to engage with their children, educate them beyond traditional schooling and empower them to thrive, according to VCU News.
Vaughn Whitney Garland, director of Community Programs and Partnerships at Art180 and manager of youth education at the MFYC, saw Richmond’s division at its worst during COVID-19. He established a series of monthly “Parent Nights,” encouraging parents to come and find community while their children were entertained for a few hours.
Garland said his goal was to establish a space where parents could connect and simply exist as individuals.
“When I came to VCU the idea of ‘hold space’ was really important to me. And what that idea of ‘hold space’ means is that we’re there for the community as a resource, and also a community center and as a hub.” Garland said.
Over time, the program grew as more parents attended each month, according to Garland.
“We started to see families, and specifically parents, showing up over and over and over, just because they had this incredible experience the month before, and they can’t wait for the next month,” Garland said.
This opened the door for more targeted events, including the Fatherhood Mix and Mingle, held during VCU’s Dr. Martin Luther King Celebration Week.
The event, led by Curtis E. Hall II, Founder of Nu Collar Solutions, aimed to encourage fathers to reflect on their parenting and discover space within themselves to allow their children to grow alongside them.
Three generations of men gathered at the MFYC, sat in a circle and shared their struggles as parents and as men. Before diving into discussion, Hall led them in reciting a group mantra, including the phrase, “Together we will uplift, listen and hold each other accountable.”
After setting their intentions for the evening, they opened up in small groups and responded to questions of how to instill confidence and strength in their children and raise them with a sense of love.
One man in attendance, Nathaniel Womack Jr., president of My Brother’s Keeper of Greater Richmond, spoke on the isolation that fathers are facing from society and themselves.
“Society has caused us to alienate ourselves from each other, but we won’t let that happen,” Womack said.
As he stood in the center of the circle, Womack said he saw men fighting the divide, just by sitting together.
Garland said he was passionate about the event’s importance as a part of VCU’s MLK Jr. Celebration Week, and that he saw it as a space to acknowledge tough issues, starting on a personal level.
“Specifically here in Richmond there is a large population of fathers who are incarcerated, and that’s a problem,” Garland said. “We wanted to have a moment where we can have conversations around some of the issues that are happening in our region, in our city, in our nation.”
This was the first father-centric Parent Night, but Garland and Hall both emphasized that it would not be the last. When they asked the group how they felt about that prospect, the room was filled with resounding praise and a sense of relief.
The MFYC offers many community events for VCU students and the Richmond community.
“I want the rest of our larger community to feel like we are there for them, and we will be there for them. We will hold space for them.” Garland said.
Garland said he hopes to encourage men to feel safe participating in more collaborative and productive conversations in future meetings.
