College students: axis of ego

    You’ve heard it somewhere at some point, perhaps from a disgruntled family  member, a friend, classmate, a teacher, a  coworker or even your ex. 

    “You’re so self-involved,” they’ll say.  “You only care about yourself.”

    They might not have used these exact  words. In any case, don’t start looking  up therapists in the Yellow Pages just  yet. It’s only natural for people in their  teens and early twenties (college age) to  be self-involved. At this point, we are  all that and a bag of chips. But with this  generation all about “me, me, me,” it was  only a matter of time before someone  came out with a study that proved college  students’ narcissism.

    San Diego State University professor  Jean Twenge did exactly that this past  February. For 24 years, Twenge evaluated more than 16,000 college students  around the country using a Narcissistic  Personality Inventory, or NPI. Today’s  students scored above average compared  with students in the 1980s.

    Twenge has  even written a book, “Generation Me:  Why Today’s Young Americans Are More  Confident, Assertive, Entitled – and More  Miserable Than Ever Before.”  Twenge  is  quoted  as  saying  that  modern technology “fuels the increase  in narcissism.” In all honesty, she’s not  entirely wrong. There certainly is a seeand-be-seen mentality behind Web sites  like YouTube and MySpace. This same  mentality could well be what makes these  sites so popular.

    “Entitlement” also made the news this  summer, though not in the political sense  of the word. In July, a Wall Street Journal  headline read, “Blame It on Mr. Rogers:  Why Young Adults Feel So Entitled.”  The article began describing how Don  Chance, a Louisiana State University  professor, arrived at the conclusion that  PBS staple “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood”  influenced his students’ demands for extra  credit at the end of the semester. 

    Oh, come on. College professors should  know that no matter how many times they  say they won’t offer extra credit, students  will ask for it anyway. It’s a given.

    Besides, Mr. Rogers has nothing to do  with it. He was simply trying to foster  a sense of self-esteem, not entitlement.  Admittedly, “you’re special” might not  have been the best phrase choice. But  it’s the context that matters. Mr. Rogers  meant for this quality to help us be more  tolerant and accepting of others, not  something that enables us to automatically  get bumped up on the grading scale. 

    The Wall Street Journal article also addresses the first-name basis issue: “When a child calls an adult Mr. or Ms., it helps  him recognize that status is earned by age  and experience.” 

    This is how I was raised. It speaks well  when children are polite and respectful,  something that may carry on into college  and beyond. On the other hand, depending  on your academic program or concentration, you might have some professors or  superiors who prefer to be called by their  first names, something that originally took  me a little while to get used to. (Anyway,  prefixes like “Ms.,” “Mr.” or “Dr.” are only  used in a newsroom when addressing  experts or special guests.)

    Putting personal goals and ambitions  before anything or anyone else might suggest narcissistic tendencies. I don’t think  this is necessarily true. It works for some  people, as does asking for extra credit.  (You can, only don’t be obnoxious.) In  the end, perhaps better parenting is the  only real solution.

    Having said all this, check out my  Facebook  profile  for  pictures  of  my  Hollywood  adventures.  (Comment  if  you know which house on Wisteria Lane  belongs to which housewife, because I  don’t.) While you’re there, see if we share  similar friends or interests. Compare my  favorite books and TV shows with yours.  And, of course, don’t forget to write on  my wall.