Reflecting on a day among the dead

I lived the very simple life of a zombie Saturday. My stagger was standard, my moans were monotonous, and the single thing that brought me joy was brains. Sweet, sweet, delectable brains.

Yes, I found myself at Zombie Walk ’06, the second occurrence of Richmond’s local interpretation of a worldwide phenomenon. I arrived at Bryant Park for the pre-walk rally where more than 120 showed up in all types and styles. Stephen Hawking was there, complete with monotone voice emulator. Hunter S. Thompson, wearing a bloodied, bullet-torn bucket hat was also present. In fact, this zombie event was as diverse as the city itself. There was no age minimum or limit. One father carried his 3-month-old “zombie” snugly the entire walk, while a college-aged kid accompanied his 8-year-old sister. I waited and watched the masses arrive until the leaders of the event started to talk. They went over rules, stressing that people in the public not be touched nor were we to enter stores. After a quick round of group photos, the zombie-car convoy set off to Carytown.

The walk started slowly and stretched for blocks. We stumbled, hobbled and rolled our way along one side of Carytown from Kroger to the Byrd Theatre. We were met with cries of terror and smiles of bemusement. We moaned and stumbled until suddenly we encountered an age-old foe. Six rogue mummies appeared from behind a corner and came quickly toward us. The groups clashed! The mummies rushed our line as we tore through their group, yet they escaped without harm. We crossed the street to the Byrd Theatre when again the ragged gang of mummies came at us again. Rags were torn! Groans were groaned! In the end, the mummies proved no match for the mindless onslaught of the Zombie Walk, for they were not seen again.

We made our way back down Carytown as onlookers cowered in fear. Parents stood protectively in front of their children while store owners looked on with a look of either sunshine and daffodils or brimstone and hellfire. We ended the walk with a victory groan and drove to Monroe Park to start round two of the walk.

Setting off toward the University Student Commons we came upon a few unsuspecting students. Cries of “Brrrrrrrains!” went up as the group passed by them into the University Student Commons. We passed through and turned around, making our way into the library. Our groans turned to hushes as we stumbled through the library doors. Quietly we wandered around the first floor, creating a surreal scene of silent zombie mayhem. Emerging into the outdoors once again we stumbled down West Broad Street back toward Monroe Park.

We moaned proudly as the organizers of the group thanked everyone for coming out saying, “Hopefully this will be even bigger next year.” As I walked home, I saw a zombie bride and groom getting into their car to leave. They spotted me. “Brains?” the groom asked.

I waved my hand, saying, “Brains.”

It was that kind of day.