The dreaded Buddy Syndrome

In our coed culture men and women live and work as equals (well kind of). I don’t want to talk about equal rights between the sexes or anything. I’d like to talk about something even worse: the Buddy Syndrome. At some point in time every male has experienced this. The Buddy Syndrome is the point in a male-female relationship when the male skips the dating step and becomes a brother or a buddy to the girl.

The relationship may start with a guy being attracted to a girl without any feedback. The girl may not be interested in the guy and just keep him around as positive reinforcement or a safety blanket.

If you have never had a buddy you have probably seen one in a chick flick (any Freddy Prinze Jr. movie). All these movies follow the same story – misfit girl (girl wearing glasses) gets involved with a perfect guy. With the help of her male best friend she discovers some sort of lie, gets mad at the guy, makes up and lives happily ever after.

That’s all fine and good, but what about the male best friend? Everyone watching knows he is in love with the heroine of the story. Why can’t he have what he wants and live happily ever after? Is there anything wrong with that?

If you’re a girl who has one of these buddies, congratulations! You have neutered someone who is most likely the nicest guy you know. Not only have you taken his self-esteem and pride away but also every time you go anywhere he looks completely unavailable and will probably stay single for the extent of the “friendship.”

I don’t understand the female motivation. Do we make you happy when your boyfriend (the archenemy of the buddy) does something bad to you? Or do you keep us around so that you can have the emotional part of a normal relationship without the liability of the physical side?

No matter how much you think the guy is just your friend, there is always sexual attraction. Why would we have anything to do with women if there was no physical attraction?

We are genetic opposites, two pieces of the same puzzle. A man and woman may have things they like to do in common or a hair color in common; this doesn’t mean they aren’t complete opposites. We are made differently, look differently and our brain works differently (I’m not referring to the minority but instead the majority, every member of each sex as an average).

Now you’re probably saying that’s not true (ladies). Well, want proof? Just ask any guy who has a female best friend if he is sexually attracted to her even in the slightest bit and I can guarantee you he will say yes (in most cases).

Why not be more considerate? Instead of worrying about physical attraction and giving him the “I don’t date friends” excuse, why not show your “buddy” a little appreciation? He’s been nicer to you than probably any other guy. Watching you hold hands with your guy and be happy isn’t a good time. Friends don’t let friends be lonely. Hook him up with one of your friends or something. Come on people, it’s a common courtesy.