Is America ready for ‘Rocky Balboa’

How many times can this cow be milked?

This is what I would ask the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Columbia Pictures and Revolution Studios conglomerate about the sixth installment of the “Rocky” series featuring Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa.

The fascination of Rocky Balboa as the “people’s champ” led America to embrace the first Rocky movie back in 1976 as well as the ones that followed through 1985. But as version five hit box offices in 1990, it was the fans that gave Rocky a TKO.

“Rocky V” should have raised a red flag for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Columbia Pictures and Revolution Studios. Hello? The fourth installment raked in $125 million in 1985. But in 1990, version five was down for the count, only bringing in a meager $40 million.

This is 2005. What on earth are they thinking?

Revolution Studios founder Joe Roth said, “In many ways, the screenplay really took me back to the original Rocky. As a past champion, Rocky Balboa is once again a regular guy who has to find himself and deal with real life.”

OK, this madness has to stop. Stallone is now a 59-year-old man. What could he possibly do inside of a boxing ring? How many more times can he find himself?

Stallone said, “You’re never too old to climb a mountain, if that’s your desire.”

To quote tennis great John McEnroe: “You can’t be serious?”

Boxing is one thing, and golf is another. Stallone is six years from retirement age for most American workers. Most people his age are on a golf course deciding whether to play with or without a handicap – not inside of a boxing ring. The last thing he should be contemplating is a return visit with his alter ego Rocky Balboa. This movie will continue to give ideas to the wrong people – Tommy Hearns, Evander Holyfield and George “The Grill” Foreman come to mind.

Just let it go – Rocky isn’t a viable character anymore. This movie could go down in history as the biggest flop since Mariah Carey’s “Glitter.”

Many things have changed since the last Rocky movie. Gas prices – like President Bush’s disapproval rating – are ever-increasing. The price of a movie ticket is $9, a box of popcorn is $5 and a soda is $4 (depending on the size of each).

Granted, the Rocky series was a part of “Americana,” and for the average Joe, Rocky Balboa represented him. But those days are now an afterthought. The machismo that was the foundation of Rocky has crumbled like crust on a slice of toast.

Production on “Rocky VI” begins in December. If there are still some die-hard Rocky fans out there, God bless you, and enjoy your warm glass of milk.