Soap Box

Spring Break ends! (mass hysteria ensues)

Ah, spring break, the glorious institution where thousands of college students from all over flock to wherever they flock to for a week of rest, relaxation and partying.

Now that this week has ended, reality has once again poked its ugly head out from under that pile of dirty clothes you swore you had washed weeks ago.

For now, school has commenced once more. Though keep your heads up, there is precious little time before the summer hits and those of you who have spent their time at VCUgo off into the “real world” in search of gainful, meaningful existance.

As for the rest of us, we get to find employment for the summer and enjoy the sun, fun and hard work that is summer break. I’m not sure what it is a break from, but I’m sure something.

There is a month and a half left in this semester, so keep working hard and you will make it through this semester, and once again, triumph over the forces of VCU.

Yes, duct tape is enough to ward off any potential terrorist threat. If you run out now and buy colored duct tape, then you can be safe from all sorts of attacks.

Each color has a special resistence to terrorism. Ask nicely, and I might tell you the duct tape color codes.

Remember kids, in a country where we are told duct tape will protect us, and in retaliation for France not agreeing with us, the government changes french fries and french toast so freedom fries and freedom toast.

Rest assured. We’re in good hands.