Mysterious origin of Bob, how to overcome writer’s block and 7-Eleven

Dear Bob,

Jen Molloy

I became Bob by a twist of fate. I was strolling through the Student Commons one sunny afternoon enjoying the wild flowers and the grass knoll that is no more.

All of a sudden I was ambushed by two tall dark men and one maniacally giggling woman. They threw me into a sack and carried me to location unknown, I was in a sack, what do you expect?

They proceeded to threaten me, saying if I did not become a writer for them, I would never see the light of day again.

So I did.

It has been a long, strange path that took me from Not Bob to Ask Bob, though I have thoroughly enjoyed every second of it.

Now my captors and I are great friends, and it turns out this was all just a big misunderstanding. Once that got smoothed out and I got a huge cash settlement, I decided I would remain a writer and assume the title of Ask Bob permanently.

I gain knowledge from a wide variety of sources. My good friends Bat Boy and Moose Anderson help out a lot. The Weekly World News is an excellent source for tips and knowledge. Coded within their pages are predictions for most major events before they happen. If read correctly, you can find a huge wealth of knowledge.

There are also my secret agents working in the field gathering information and relaying it back here at Bob headquarters.

I would like to thank my field agents (you know who you are) for all your help and support.

Without you, Bob could not be.

Thank you Jen for answering the call and writing. If it were not for people like you, I would not be. There would be no Bob and that would just be sad.

Bob,

I just finished reading your column in the Feb. 20 CT.