Soap Box: Why Bob is better than Spiderman

It has been brought to my attention that I need to write about more emotional topics in order to lure the closet writers out of their respective closets and have them fire off e-mails.

This week, I bring you,

Why Bob is better than Spiderman

Bob is much like Spiderman in that he also assumes a disguise during the day, and only at night do I become Bob, the great super hero of VCU.

I work at night, keeping the forces of evil that plague our great campus at bay, much like Spiderman keeps his foes from taking over the city.

Another way I am like Spiderman is my ability to swing through the streets of Richmond. Little does anyone know, but I also have a unique ability to shoot duct tape from my hands and use the tape to swing from building to building. However, in this time of increased hysteria and duct tape purchasing, my supplies are running a bit low. So please, stop buying up all the duct tape, it will not help you protect yourselves against terrorist attacks.

I am also better than Spiderman because I already have a girl and do not have to follow one around or play intricate mind games to protect my identity.

Since I am not well known, I do not have Green Goblins or any other colorful foes after me. Spiderman has nothing on me at all.

I am not a genius. I am not incredibly bright either and have no interest or access to modified spiders, so I will never be infected with any arachnid diseases.

Spiderman worked alone. He did not have a nifty sidekick or anyone to help him out like I do. With Bat Boy by my side, we cannot go wrong. Bob and Bat Boy, you cannot get any better than that. Spiderman cannot possibly top that.

Finally, Bob is a real person. Spiderman is not.

Final score:
Bob: 6
Spiderman: 3

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