Zodiac Cookies: your horoscopes in tasty cookie form

Aries: Like the jingle of the keys on your ring, such are the days of your life.

Taurus: Sleep with a book under your pillow and you’ll wake up with a stiff neck.

Gemini: If you mail out graduation announcements again, the gifts could be plentiful.

Cancer: An old shoe is like an old friend, it’s smelly, but it fits just right.

Leo: Whatever you do, don’t get married tomorrow.

Virgo: Slipping on banana peels often causes high velocity impacts due to gravity.

Libra: When you see an elderly lady dressed in pink hopping barefoot across the street, you’ll know your time has come.

Scorpio: It has been predicted that the Raiders will win the Superbowl, place your bets.

Sagittarius: Be one with the Skittles commercials, taste the rainbow.

Capricorn: Convert to Japanese. Instead of writing, they get to draw little pictures.

Aquarius: Think on this…do tongue twisters really twist your tongue?

Pisces: Seal an empty envelope, write your name on it, bury it, read it 20 years later and think how silly you were.