Appreciating the US as a student abroad

Lily Pawliczak, Contributing Writer

Before studying abroad, I wrestled with many different emotions. I was going to miss my friends and was worried about making new ones. Going to Europe alone was a huge step outside of my comfort zone. 

I kept reminding myself that at least it was France — even if I did not make great friends there or if I missed my friends at home, I would still be in Europe; I would still become cultured and worldly. The United States could offer me comfort, but France could offer me a new perspective. Nothing like that could unfold for me in the U.S.

I did not have the U.S. high on my list of things that I would miss, but two months into my semester I have had to come to terms with the fact that it is one of the things I miss the most. I would not consider myself patriotic, or even say that I love the U.S. as a country, but I find myself craving an interaction with an American stranger more than I realized. 

To put it into perspective: French and American people are incredibly different, as much as people can differ. Here in France, they do not smile “that smile” we do in passing, they do not engage in a little conversation over irrelevant things while waiting in line for coffee, compliment an outfit they think is cute or make small talk with the person behind the counter. 

I’m compliment-deprived and learning how not to smile. People have looked at me weirdly for smiling at them if we make eye contact — mainly because here, that is too familiar an action for someone I don’t know. The same people who have no sense of personal space find it weird for me to smile or talk with them for longer than necessary. 

I miss American familiarity, and I only realized how many things we get right as Americans after I experienced the cold decorum of people in France that seems to be the norm. For a collectivist society, France seems to be strangely individualistic at its personal level. 

The U.S., being an individualistic society, surprisingly has a strong sense of comradery, a “No, I don’t know you, but of course I would root for you.” We seem to cheer each other on and celebrate similarities small and large; I was at a coffee shop in New York and someone came up to me, excited to tell me how much they loved the book I was reading. I had no idea who they were but at that moment we were friends. 

As a teenager I was itching to leave the U.S., to travel and find somewhere better. Even as recently as two months ago, I was that person. There is a saying that goes: “You only know what you’ve got when it’s gone.” Now having experienced this firsthand, it really does ring true. 

We all love to joke about how much the U.S. sucks — it’s a funny joke — but I do not think the people suck. Something I have heard while being here is that figuring out who is an American is pretty easy since they are usually always smiling. If I had to choose between a country stereotype, I’d take that over not understanding personal space, which Europeans suffer from. 

I know how to dress relatively European, and I can get by speaking French pretty well, but if smiling is my giveaway then I’m not sure how to adjust that, or if I want to. 

If our identifier is smiling, I can appreciate the U.S. a lot more than I did before going abroad. I have learned a lot about myself and the world while traveling around Europe — and hope to learn more in my time left here. But by growing into this new perspective, I have learned the most about where I’m from, which is a realization that would have passed me by had I not come abroad. 

So, while I get used to my sad, neutral face, smile at someone awkwardly when you make eye contact, talk to the barista at the coffee shop and compliment someone’s shoes. Realize the joys of being from somewhere people associate with smiling, and embrace the wandering hype Americans give; people everywhere cheering on and encouraging strangers for nothing in return.