An Ode to Self Care

Shaun Jackson

Staff Columnist 

RLWR: Human – Kimbra

Help. Graduation is right around the corner for us December graduates. I’m scared I’m not doing what I want and I am only doing what I “should” be doing. How can I tell the difference?

This is easier said than done. You have to figure out what you want — without your parents, school or any other external factors clouding your judgement. If you don’t know what you want, then trying to tell the difference between these things is pointless. This can be a lot to think about. In the meantime, just do your best to avoid falling into a day-to-day routine that feels like a mind-numbing hellscape of compromise and disappointment.

What am I supposed to do when I’m in love with two different people?

Again, this is not a “supposed-to-do” situation. Try figuring out what you want to do. I think you need to be honest with the people involved. If they do not want what you want, then at that point, I think you will have a better idea of what to do. Either way, that is never a fun situation and I hope nothing but the best for you while navigating it.

Why does it bother me that four of my friends have referred to their boyfriends as sociopaths, yet continue to date them?

Oh, girl. As a psychology student, I hate when people throw around terms like this without really understanding what they’re saying. That aside, their boyfriends are not sociopaths — they just sound like self-absorbed asses. I think it bothers you because it’s really annoying when your friends chronically date those types of people. You are the good friend they lean on when they are shattered, and you’re always there to piece them back together — but you are also allowed to be sick of that. Maybe sitting down with them and having a good old-fashioned talk about their worth and why they shouldn’t date such men will help. If not, maybe it’s time to find new friends.

I just really want to fall in love with someone who is kind, witty and sexually attractive, and have them love me back. Why does this seem so impossible nowadays?

I don’t think it’s impossible nowadays, so to speak. I think the only issue you are facing is you are mistaking kindness, wit and sexual attraction for long-term compatibility. Moreover, it sounds like you to have love confused with infatuation. Calm down, and breath. I have a feeling that whomever you are looking for will pop up as soon as you stop looking and caring so much. The universe has a wicked sense of humor like that. Stop falling in love with love. Instead, try loving and nurturing yourself and those around you.