Rachel’s Mailbox with Rachel Weatherly

Dear Rachel,
At what point in the relationship is it okay to use the bathroom in front of each other?
– Hailey, 19

Hailey,

If you want to know the key to unlocking the door to his bathroom, I’d start by paying attention to the signs that indicate he’s comfortable with that situation – men give off all sorts of smells and clues to how they’re feeling. You have to be extra vigilant – you have to be both Batman AND Robin. I’d refrain from outright asking him because then you’d be outright asking him.

Sharing the bathroom can become the greatest source of one-on-one time in a relationship. It adds another layer of intimacy to your blossoming onion of romance. I’d give a rough estimate of month eight and three-quarters to green light the offer of sharing this personal space. Remember to consider how much of your personal bubble you’re popping.

If you’re all systems go, here are some tips that will lead you down the right path to mutually using the bathroom:

• If you’re out together, offer for him to join you when you need to relieve yourself.
• When he says no, act like he’s crazy for turning you down.
• Before you take a shower, leave a trail of snacks down the hall. He’ll definitely feel obliged to enter regardless that it’s your shower time.
• Put a welcome mat outside so he feels comfortable with entering at any time.
• Whip him up some “romantic coupons” for his birthday and make one the allowance to walk in on you whenever he wants.
• Have an “accident” in front of him.
• Remove the door.

Love, like bathrooms, is a dirty business. If you’re a couple that chickens out at the grimy reality of sharing, take it from a professional advice-giver: Call it quits. It’s a trial that you two can survive; if you believe it, you can do it.

– Rachel