Interesting People: ‘And then I stick my finger down his throat’

0

CT’s new feature takes a closer look at some of VCU’s most interesting denizens – people you’ve always wanted to get to know, but haven’t.

JOE MCALHANY – Senior English major

CT What plans do you have for once you’ve graduated?

I have no idea. I have no idea at all. I always wanted to be involved in movies I guess? Films? Like filmmaking.

CT What kinds of films?

Just about anything.  I watched “My Own Private Idaho” yesterday. It’s a movie from the ’90s – River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves playing gay street hustlers, and … stuff.

CT Tell us a dream you’ve had recently.

I had a dream the other night that – we have a cat that we recently got at our house, named Dr. Fumbles – and I had a dream the other night that my roommates came into my room, and I was in bed, I was half naked, and they … wanted me to get up to do some ridiculous errand. So I stand up, and I’m putting my pants on, and the cat’s trying to claw at my pants ‘cus it thinks it’s a game.  And uh, then he starts going for my testicles.  I don’t know if this is – is this a family publication?

CT I think we can print that.

We can print “testicles?”  Alright.  So the cat’s going for my testicles, and I’m trying to get the cat off of me. And then I stick my finger down his throat, and … I wish I was making this up.  Yeah, I couldn’t sleep for hours afterwards.

CT The dream ended there?

Yeah that’s when I woke up, with my finger down the cat’s throat, hanging from my testicles.

CT: Do you feel like your dreams are trying to tell you something?

Uh, I dunno.  I’ve also had a dream where that same cat killed a dog that we lived with. … I had a fear of cats when I was a child.  I wrote a short story when I was in elementary school about cats attacking me. But yeah. I used to also think I could control cats by making eye contact with them.

CT Was that based on any particular incident?

I feel like I’m going to be put in an asylum for this.

CT Not at all.

I just thought that cats …  I don’t know WHY a 9-year-old boy thinks that he can control cats with his eyes. But our neighbor’s cat Raisin, I remember when I was a kid, I was just like … looking at him, and I was trying to will him to do something with my mind. It didn’t work out. So I quickly got rid of that theory.

CT Any advice for staying stress-free for finals?

Family-friendly advice?

CT Well …

I normally just think that – it’s just fairly inconsequential, and that grades don’t matter.  And that eventually there will be bigger problems to deal with. Mortgages to pay, divorces to deal with. CT

Leave a Reply