Top 10 things to do on Halloween

The most wonderful time of the year is upon us. Halloween is Friday, my friends, and everyone better be ready to throw down and have some fun-considering this is the first time Halloween has been on a Friday or Saturday in five years. The Opinion section of The CT has decided to put together another one of our famous lists just in time for the holiday. Here are 10 things one must absolutely do this year on Halloween.

1. Wear a costume

This sounds obvious, but I have heard too many people act like they are too cool to dress up. No one is ever “too cool” to dress up. Correct me if I am completely off base here, but it’s not too much to ask that we enjoy our secular American holiday.

2. Toilet paper somebody’s house

To quote our associate sports editor, Jerome Foster, “It’s not an idea, it’s the best idea-just don’t get caught, because that is not Halloween fun.”

3. Dress up as Gov. Sarah Palin

If you want to either be adored, or punched in the face,
this costume is the way to go. Palin masks are available on Amazon.com and about several hundred other places. Just kidding. I don’t think anyone will punch you in the face but get ready to ask, “Where’d Russia go?” all night.

4. Go trick-or-treating

Yes, most of us are 18 or older and yes, this might seem inappropriate to some people but free candy is free candy, and free candy is awesome.

5. Don’t get arrested

If you go to jail on Halloween, you won’t be sitting in a cell with people in regular street clothes. You will be sitting in a cell, waiting for your boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/mom, etc. to bail you out while sitting next to several strippers who may or may not actually be strippers. The only thing worse than sitting in jail is sitting in jail with people in costume-because getting arrested wasn’t enough to make you feel like a tool.

6. Act like you are in a horror movie wherever you go

Then, when people look at you oddly, get really belligerent and defensive. It’s a great way to make friends and totally excusable because it’s the spookiest time of the year, so when else are you supposed to be obnoxiously loud and freaked out by everything?

7. Go see ‘Saw V’

Is dressing up and making mischief not for you? Well, go see the fifth version of this delightfully tacky, yet unrefined horror movie series. Just don’t go stoned. Just don’t do it. It’s a bad idea-trust me. Don’t do it.

8. Eat lots of candy

This naturally goes along with going trick-or-treating. However, if getting candy the old-fashioned way is not for you, then buy a big bag of chocolate from Kroger and dig in. If anyone is feeling particularly generous, my favorites are miniature Snickers bars and Reese’s. All donations can be left in my mailbox at the Student Media Center.

9. Judge every girl dressed up as a Playboy bunny

Yes; she’s hot. Yes, her other friends dressed up as bunnies are also hot. But she’s also lame because “Playboy bunny” is the most unoriginal college-girl costume of all time.

10. Go balls to the wall

Go wild. It’s Friday night-what do you have to do that’s so important the next morning? Do things you won’t remember come Nov. 1-I know I will.

Most importantly, have a happy and kooky Halloween!