The time is now for VCU football

VCU is the largest university in Virginia, yet one
issue always has been raised about our fine institution-VCU is without a football team.

This is a travesty. Though football teams for Virginia
Tech and the University of Virginia are closer than any
National Football League team (as if the Redskins were
worth rooting for), this is not good enough.

VCU needs a team entirely to itself.

Some “anti-sports students” – such as The CT’s
current sports editor – have made the point that VCU
students don’t attend the sports we have already. Even
the successful teams, such as our CAA championshipwinning
baseball team and our victorious (until recently)
men’s basketball team, don’t receive full attendance.

What these Nazi’s don’t take into account is that
football releases hormones that cause a condition
commonly known as Football Fever (touchdownus
makeus crazius). This condition would make the
average VCU student – i.e. those apathetic about sports
? rabid about our future football team.

VCU students don’t care about our current programs,
because basketball and baseball are unpopular
sports that are much more popular in places like the
United Kingdom and Antarctica. So what if baseball
is “America’s pastime?” Baseball was popular in
“pastimes,” not now.

In America, we play football. Plain and simple.

So what if the stadium would have to be so far off campus
no one would be able to logically attend? VCU students
would be so rabid to see their football team they would
be willing to walk halfway across the city or hitchhike to
the West End to support their Rams football.

Some have suggested VCU should share City
Stadium, near Carytown, with the Richmond Kickers.
Despite the fact that the teams would never get enough
time in the stadium, this is a great idea.

Another suggestion has been to rip apart some
low-income housing and force out the people who
have been living there for generations. This would
be great for the economy, especially in this time of
recession.

Sure, John Rennie Short, a professor of geography
and public policy at the University of Maryland,
wrote in his 2006 book, “All independent studies
show that sports stadia have no effect on growth of
per-capita income, (and) have little or negative effects
on employment and overall economic activity.” The
erection of a new stadium is still obviously what VCU
needs right now.

Some have questioned how
good VCU’s team would be if it
were to exist. I can guarantee our
team would be on par with Old
Dominion University’s football
team. All VCU needs to have is
massive amounts of money, talent
and interest to have a team of this
caliber.

The only downside of having
a football team at VCU is that it
would no longer make sense to
wear those trendy “VCU Football:
Still Undefeated” shirts. Whoever
came up with those is a sheer
genius.

Ladies and gentlemen, the time
to strike is now! We must have a
football team at VCU! This is our
hour! Rams never retreat! Rams
never surrender! THIS . IS .
SPARTA!