Commentary: Retired and washed up find resurgence in politics

We walk, hand on back and into the ballroom of a notorious city hotel. The people, they smile as we weave a way through to face dipping sour cream, spinach and bean. The vegetables are in hand.

We attack it there: carrot and celery thrust through yogurt tubs and the crowd begins to murmur. Another precinct has reported. Arrogant, the grandiloquent supporters wait.

Could be an electric night for an Allen or Webb, or Clinton or Bush. Could be.

But tonight the celebration is for another crowd altogether. Tonight is the night of the re-return: the night of the washed-out athlete turned political hopeful. It’s the last chance for those who’ve fallen from grace to grab back their good name.

Remember Heath Shuler? You should.

He was Charlie Casserly’s baby. He was the future of the Washington Redskins. Future quarterback, future face – he was their pride and joy. A first round pick and Heisman Trophy runner-up, Shuler was dismal.

You think the Redskins are doing bad now? Behind Shuler’s arm, the team finished just 18-30. He was at the helm when the team had its worst year in history (3-13), and helped the team lose its first home game to the Phoenix Cardinals in 20-odd years.

If you didn’t know the Cardinals used to be called Phoenix, you should know they were simply awful. The only team worse than Phoenix was the New Orleans Saints – which is a nice way to finish this story off because that’s where Shuler went after the Redskins. And after one year in black and gold, Shuler was out of football. He was hurt, and football fans rejoiced. It was 1997.

Memories of Shuler slowly faded (though they’ll never go away – the horror!), and life returned to a normal kind of mediocrity in the nation’s capital. The kind of mediocrity we were all used too.

But last night, and surrounded by puffball people and pastries, Heath Shuler won his return to Washington. His chance for redemption comes this time as a Congressman. Congratulations, North Carolina.

Shuler is not the only sporting figure to move (or try to move) from the field of play to elected official.

Four-time Super Bowl champ Lynn Swann lost his attempt at Pennsylvania’s governorship Tuesday night as he was trounced by incumbent Gov. Ed Rendell. Swann’s platform was to reform Pennsylvania by slashing taxes on business and slowing state spending.

Isn’t that ironic? Swann, a sporting success loses. Shuler, a sporting failure, wins. How about that?

And besides these two football greats (er, great), there are many other sports has-beens making appearances in the political ring (see box below).

The final question – what remains to be seen is what happens to these folks after finding themselves in office.

In Shuler’s case, he has demonstrated a fantastic ability to get places. What happens afterward, now that’s a different thing altogether.