Weird News

Guards hired to protect plants from rabbit

English allotment owners have called in armed guards to protect their vegetables from an unusually large rabbit.

The rabbit is strong enough to pull leeks out the ground and eat entire rows of onions and carrots.

Jeff Smith, 63, was first to spot the black and brown animal at the Mouldshaugh Lane allotments two months ago.

“Its prints are huge, bigger than a hare – about the size of a deer’s,” Smith said. “One ear’s bigger than the other. It’s a brute.”

“We’ve been told to shoot on sight,” said marksman and assistant gamekeeper Brian Cadman.

German takes legal action against Easter Bunny

A German man has taken legal action against the Easter Bunny for grievous bodily harm.

Karl-Friedrich Lentze has filed a complaint with prosecutors, accusing it of causing his addiction to chocolate which leads to health problems.

“The Easter Bunny is a sadistic and unscrupulous offender who preys on people’s sweet tooth,” Lentze said.

“Find this evil bunny, handcuff his paws and remove him from shops in time for Easter.”

“We will act upon the complaint with speed and diligence,” public prosecutor spokesman Christian Avenarius said.

Rabbit assaults dogsled team

A “large and aggressive” rabbit has reportedly attacked a dogsled team in Norway.

Wenche Offerdal, who was driving the team, said she’d never seen anything like it.

“It was sitting 10 meters from the trail and I figured it would run off, and even that the dogs would go after it,” Offerdal said. “I was wrong.”

Instead, the rabbit ran toward the team and jumped into the middle of the dogs.

“It was an absurd situation,” Offerdal said. “The dogs were completely perplexed. The hare stared at them and they stared back, like they were all frozen.”

Suddenly the hare leaped out of the ring, hitting a few of the dogs on their noses with its paws.

“It was an enormous leap, the hare landed outside the ring of dogs and ran off into the woods,” Offerdal said.