‘Screw the children!’

George Carlin had a good idea when he said “f– the children!”- better yet, f– purifying our culture for children.

Parental groups and the religious right are trying to protect children from all they see, hear and read, and it is a nuisance.

Clean Flicks, for example, a company that edits movies for graphic violence, nudity, profanity and sexual content, is tainting American cinema. Some of their edited movies were laughably absurd choices, such as the holy snuff-film, Passion of the Christ.

Other Clean Flicks edits are just blasphemous, such as their revised version of The Godfather. First off, if you don’t see Sonny mercilessly gunned down at the toll booth, then you’re not really watching The Godfather. Secondly, if parents are concerned about the graphic nature of what their children watch, perhaps a movie about organized crime isn’t a good film for their kids.

Literature is taking a hard hit from fanatical parents as well. The American Library Association receives lists of books that many parents believe should be banned from libraries. These books include Of Mice and Men and Huckleberry Finn.

The last thing children in this country need is to have good books taken away from them. Our society is as literate as a sack of potatoes – not even a normal sack of potatoes, but the potatoes that ride the short-bus. So banning Twain and Steinbeck could only hurt this country.

Also, the reality is that people in the 1800s used the “N-word” a great deal, especially in the South. So when that word is used frequently in Huckleberry Finn, that just means the story is historically accurate. If parents can’t let their children face that truth ,then they might as well tell them that slaves picked cotton as a recreational sport and that they considered whippings to be just good old horseplay.

Though movies and books are big issues with puritan parents, they are not as bad as the small scattered incidents that cause them to moan and cry. Parents need to learn that seeing one second of a nipple and hearing a few swear words will not damage their children beyond all repair. I viewed some intense TV when I was little, and I turned out perfectly fine – or as fine as a sociopath/nymphomaniac can be.

So I in retrospect I change my statement. Don’t f– the children, f– their parents. Or to be less offensive, “screw” the parents! Just don’t show it on TV.

Lisa Chun may be reached at bureacrat85@yahoo.com