Zodiac Cookies

Aries: Today you should let your dancing queen persona show through.

Taurus: Important decisions involving your marital status will be made today.

Gemini: Remember, no means no.

Cancer: The word “lambada” will hold a special meaning in your life today.

Leo: Every cloud has a silver lining. Now you just need to find a way to scrape it off and cash it in.

Virgo: Chickens and toucans are the birds of your heart.

Libra: Music lines the pathway to your soul. Maybe you should consult your physician.

Scorpio: Think to yourself, “What am I going to have for lunch tomorrow.” Your decision will be inspired.

Sagittarius: Avoid cucumbers for the next three days. They will only lead you down the path of disaster.

Capricorn: Four leaf clovers are only lucky if they aren’t covered in toxic chemicals.

Aquarius: If cheerleading can be a sport then french fries can be a vegetable.

Pisces: Your role model will soon let you down, but forgive Barney, you can only expect so much from a purple dinosaur.