Maritza Baptiste, Staff Writer
I have seen movies and TV shows portray college as an idealistic place where love is everywhere, at coffee shops, late-night study sessions or frat parties. While I value my education, love played a much stronger role in my college decision than I would like to admit — especially as a young, queer person.
I am in my fourth year of college and I have not met anyone at a coffee shop or during a late-night study session. Even after I turned 21, I have only been approached at the club a handful of times. Most of the time, I am approached by men.
Despite these unmet expectations, my dating life is quite fruitful. I do not feel like I have missed out on a key college experience — it is just that most of my chance romantic meetings happen online.
I understand the appeal of wanting to meet someone offline. Some college campuses have students who engage in “See And Be Seen,” which is intentionally spending more time outside or in public so that you can be visible and approachable to a potential love interest, according to VICE.
I think deep down we are all craving a rom-com-worthy meet-cute, where the music swells and cherry blossoms swirl around us as our love interest sweeps us off our feet.
It is not that queer people are not having these experiences, but the reality is that most people are straight. Trying to determine who is queer when you are not at a gay bar can be difficult — so much so that many queer people have found comfort and safety in dating apps.
However, we are seeing a cultural shift with more people wanting to find ‘real’ love by meeting someone ‘organically’ as opposed to online.
If ‘real’ love is only found through perfect chance meetings, then we are excluding many queer people from the conversation. Love can look many different ways — so why is it less valid just because it happened on a screen first?
Dating apps are not perfect. Having spent three years on Tinder, I am well acquainted with swipe fatigue and the superficiality of the whole experience. But once in a while, you strike gold. You match with someone your type, the conversation flows over dinner and you make plans to see each other again.
To me, dating apps are far more intentional than the act of approaching an attractive stranger.
We are screening each other first, combing through each other’s profiles, liking a response to a prompt or a funny pose in their photo. We have the chance to choose each other based on actual information, not just a passing attraction.
We are sold on an idea of love in every piece of media that we consume — even in queer media. But even the queer love stories we have do not reflect the realities of modern dating. Unless, of course, you have the hots for your professional hockey rival.
So why not download a dating app? Why not find love, a casual date or a hookup without the stress of “are they straight?”
The love you may find online is just as real and authentic as the love you see in movies.