Maritza Baptiste, Staff Writer
Every time I open my Twitter feed, I am bombarded by in-fighting amongst the lesbian community.
Suddenly, it is considered weird to call your butch partner your boyfriend or to call yourself a lesbian if you are dating a trans man. According to some Twitter lesbians, butch/femme relationships are heteronormative.
Topics like these, labeled as discourse, have become widespread invalidation of identities that are interwoven in lesbian and queer history — and they are predominantly happening within lesbian spaces.
I have identified as a lesbian for over two years now. My sexuality was truly an awakening for me and I have spent the last two years loving the liberation it has given me. But just as I was coming to know myself, I also had to acquaint myself with a community I was mostly unfamiliar with.
A plethora of dating roles and identities fall under the umbrella of lesbianism. Butch lesbians, femme lesbians, lesbians using he/him pronouns and trans masc lesbians all exist within the community but these identities are largely misunderstood.
Many of these conventions challenged my previous perceptions of lesbianism being a restrictive label and I came to realize that it is far more expansive. I had to learn over time that queerness can seem contradictory even when it is not. I see the errors of my previous mindset reflected in the recent “discourse,” especially in those who have taken it upon themselves to decide who is and is not “lesbian enough.”
While ignorance is a glaring issue, intolerance is widening the gap between acceptance and invalidation. In our conflict, we are using the tools of our oppressors against ourselves.
Historically, queer communities have been subjected to scrutiny over how we identify and present ourselves. Producing that same scrutiny towards butch lesbians, trans masc lesbians or relationship dynamics when they do not fit into your idea of what a lesbian is, whether you are one or not, is reductive towards the historical work done by lesbians just to exist.
Not all discourse is anti-queer. There are valid conversations to be had around transphobia, misogyny, racism and biphobia within the lesbian community. However, this is not discourse or the calling out of problematic behavior. It is anti-queer, ignorant rhetoric from those who think their identity by itself grants them authority.
Queerness does not have to make sense.
Queerness is meant to live outside of social norms and boundaries.
It is contradictory, it is boundless and it is beautiful. It does not take a complete and total understanding of an identity to respect it.
Lesbians, please stop fighting with each other. Lesbianism looks different on everyone.
Let us celebrate the liberation we have sought through queerness with respect and love for one another. Let us do away with creating boundaries and instead embody the expansive queerness of lesbianism.