Molly Christianson, Contributing Writer
Growing up, I had a curated image of what female friendships should look like.
I convinced myself that you had to have a big friend group that was always keeping busy in order to be happy. Maybe it started with watching “My Little Pony” or “Phineas and Ferb,” but as I grew up, I learned that friendship is much more than just having someone to go on adventures with.
As my time has passed at VCU, I have found girls who I truly cherish. Many of my relationships up until my junior year of high school felt very one-sided. I am not the best at saying “no,” and I had a few friends who loved that about me.
I knew this was not ideal, but one of my only references at that point for what friendship should look like was Rory and Lorelai’s relationship in the show “Gilmore Girls.” They taught me that sometimes you just need to go along with the other person. I didn’t yet understand the importance of setting boundaries.
Meredith and Christina from “Grey’s Anatomy,” on the other hand, show an unwavering commitment and love for each other. Ever since I first saw them, I have honestly craved their dynamic.
While their depiction holds a lot of positive weight for me, it also unfortunately led me to believe that any friendships less than complete in utter commitment were not right. I focused so hard on finding “my person” that I ignored other valuable friendships. While having a strong, sister-like bond with your bestie is important, so are all our other, less intimate bonds.
While “Euphoria” and “Mean Girls” might not pose female friendships in the most positive light, the scenes where the characters are just hanging out in each other’s bedrooms are really comforting to me. Seeing a group of girls doing their makeup or just talking together is what girlhood is to me: the ability to just co-exist in a room of other people who understand — whether they understand you, your situation or both.
The literal cat fights and utter pettiness that occur in these shows, though, I will gladly leave in their respective universes.
When I first watched “Golden Girls” a few years ago, I honestly felt a little relieved. The iconic show follows the main cast just navigating their lives’ ups and downs, but the in-between moments are where their bonds truly shine. When they would debrief at the end of the day or argue over what to get for dinner, you could really tell they loved, valued and respected each other.
These shows have taught me that female friendship can come in so many different forms. They can be going out and creating crazy memories, or staying in and creating cozy ones. True friendship is when everyone values each other and is happy, and that can manifest in many different ways.
The friendships on televison are examples and not guidelines — your friend or friends can do and be whatever you all want as long as it makes you happy.