An Ode to Self Care

Illustration by Alex Hwee.

Shaun Jackson, Staff Columnist 

RLWR : Cuz I Love You – Lizzo

I’m having fun, I’m young and in my 20s and am terrified of wasting them. I am always honest when I tell girls I don’t want to be exclusive, but I usually always feel guilty after. Thoughts?

I definitely get where you’re coming from. A lot of people think the point of dating is to fall in love, and it does work like that for some people. But many people haven’t had the experiences or opportunities to fall in love, be in love or simply be loved. However, in your case, I think it’s the emotional dishonesty you originally presented in order to have sex with them that makes you feel guilty. Which it should because, to be frank, that is a total douche move.

Thinking of confessing my feelings to a guy that has become a close friend. Good idea or bad idea?

It all depends on you. Why are you confessing? What do you want to happen when you do? If you don’t have quick and rational answers to both of these questions, it’s probably a bad idea.

My current job is a huge stressor and anxiety trigger for me. I am applying for other jobs but don’t really know the protocol. Like, do I tell my employer that I have had it and am looking for an out?

I would say continue your search, keep your head down and don’t make waves. A general rule: Never tell your current employer that you are looking for other work unless you are in a strong negotiating position for a raise or promotion. If that’s not the case, just find another job and quit.

Is it wrong to have a rebound fling to get over someone? My ex told me I wouldn’t be a “good girl” if I had sex with someone about a month after my relationship ended.

Firstly, rebound sex is only bad when you aren’t honest with your new partner. They deserve to know the dynamic of the relationship you’re setting up as well as the fact that you are emotionally unavailable. Secondly, your ex sounds like a pathetic, vindictive and conniving man. Put him on block and enjoy the rest of your life without him in it.

I’m having trouble figuring myself out. Like, am I bi if I only sleep with women and don’t usually care for men sexually, except for fooling around with the men I’m comfortable with?

I’m gonna be honest here: it’s hard for me to tell whether you’re a predominantly homosexual woman coming to terms with heterosexual tendencies or a predominantly heterosexual man coming to terms with incidental homosexual tendencies. The great thing is that either way, it is entirely up to you whether you want to choose to identify as bisexual. You can if you want, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But never forget that no one else gets to decide but you.

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