An Ode to Self Care

Illustration by Alex Hwee.

Shaun Jackson

Staff Columnist 


RLWR: NASA – Ariana Grande


He lied to me. Big lie. Think relationship-altering lie. Honest to God, I am trying my best to make it work, but it’s just not the same anymore. Will it ever be okay?

Darling, I have no idea what this man did to you, but good riddance. Of course, after a betrayal of trust to the degree you are speaking about, it’s only natural to be over and done with it, regardless of how hard you may be trying. I think that deep-rooted gut feeling that’s making things different this time around is what you really need to listen to. Intuition is a powerful thing if you let it guide you. And I think yours is screaming out, “Everything will be okay, just not with him.”


What’s the socially acceptable protocol for sending an ex a message? Is the answer just don’t do it?

Exes can be a tricky map to navigate but one general rule of thumb I like to keep when it comes to whether I should communicate with an ex is that if you’re having the slightest even little bit of doubt, definitely don’t do it. Good luck, and Godspeed. Although I can tell you, it becomes a totally different game if there’s a drink in your hand.


What are your thoughts on friends who subtly throw shade, but then say something to the effect of “just kidding” or something so if you call them out on it, you’ll sound irrational and overemotional?

My first piece of advice is talk to them. Clearly, they have a lot to say but only feel comfortable doing so under the guise of throwing shade. There could be an underlying problem they don’t want to speak to you about directly. My second piece of advice is stop being so easily manipulated by passive-aggressive “friends.” If the other two pieces of advice fail, it’s probably time to find new friends anyway.


What should I think about a guy who’s interested in me physically, which is cool, he’s by no means ugly, but he goes on about his number of sexual partners and boasts quite proudly?Firstly, ew. I don’t know why he thinks anyone cares about his body count. I think that there is something so little and pathetic about a man who thinks he has that much to prove. He sounds like another unfortunate byproduct of studly toxic masculinity, in all honesty. Oh, and don’t have sex with him. After what I’ve garnered from your question, I can already tell he’s terrible in bed.

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