An Ode to Self Care

Illustration by Iain Duffus
Illustration by Iain Duffus

I’ve had sex with people I don’t know that well but for some reason I feel like there’s always some type of emotional connection. Is it just me as a person or does sex always translate into some type of emotional connection?

Now, I don’t want to say it’s just you because many others feel this way as well. When you share physical intimacy there is always some sort of connection. I’d like to think that there has to be, or else you would not have felt comfortable enough to share yourself with them. I would contend that other people feel this more than others, and I think if you fall into the former of the two, you should just be more sparring with who you get on with, if you know you have the tendency to get attached.

Do you think one month is too soon to fall in love? Or two months? Three months? Is there a point where it’s just too soon? Or should I just pay more attention to my feelings and less to my calendar?

Pay more attention to your feelings and less to your calendar. I will say though, even if you view time as an arbitrary construct when it comes to love, don’t just give your love to anyone. Make sure they are worthy of you; worthy of being in your life, worthy of meeting the people you call family and for lack of a better term, worthy of your time.

Can you still take what a person says to heart even if they said it while under the influence of drugs?

When thinking about things of this nature I always think of the old Latin saying: “in vino vertias” or “in wine, truth.”  I think that not only do people get unabridged, but people who tend to be inebriated tend to voice their hidden thoughts and desires. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. It’s pointless to have a conversation that only one person is going to remember in the morning.

Do you believe in breaks during a relationship? Do you think people can take time away from each other and come back and actually make necessary changes to the relationship, or do you think they’re destined for failure?

A break can be necessary when you’ve had too much of each other. You know those points in relationships where you’ve been around your significant other for an extended amount of time and every little thing grates your nerves? Yeah, if you’re there take a break. However, if not, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing if your relationship fails. I like to think of lovers as trees, growing to and from one another. If you grow apart, that’s okay too. Take your time and decide if you want to remain amicable with this person and decide where to go from there.


If you’d like to send Shaun a question you can submit them via email at Jacksonsk@commonwelathtimes.org or anonymously at Lascivious-Witch.Tumblr.Com/Ask  


Shaun Jackson, Staff Columnist

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