Rachel’s Mailbox with Rachel Weatherly

Rachel’s Mailbox 

with Rachel Weatherly

Dear Rachel,

My boyfriend gets mad at me when I try to pay when we go out. He thinks it’s degrading but I just like to take care of him. How do I convince him that he’s not less of a man just because a woman pays for dinner?

Juliet, 20

He certainly is not less of a man! If anything, most women at that restaurant probably thought he was awesomely humble and gentlemanly for refusing to adhere to traditional gender roles. Or poor and sad. Either way they are probably really jealous of your relationship and for that you should be so proud. You go girl.

If you’re still worried about him sulking off into the corner because you beat him in the credit card race to the bill, I can help. I don’t want him to think that he has to feel bad because you are obviously richer than him, so here are a few ways you can convince him that he’s just as much of a man as you are.

  • Cut the pockets out of all of his pants. That way when he goes to pay – whoops! His money will be gone and you’ll have to pay. He won’t feel degraded, just confused.
  • Play a silly joke on him and fill his wallet with Barbie credit cards and Monopoly money. The restaurant will force him not to pay and he can’t blame his anger on you.
  • When you go to pay, ask him to hold your hand while you sign the receipt. That way he’s not only “helping” you pay, but he’s also making you feel special.
  • If he’s feeling less manly, make dinner a challenge! Try blindfolding him through the meal, or better yet, play Russian Roulette with his utensils because using a knife as a spoon is NOT easy.
  • When you see him getting angry, start singing him a fun bar mitzvah song. This way you’re letting everyone in that establishment know how manly of man your man is.
  • Tell him to pretend he’s your brother and it’s his birthday. Doing this will get rid of the hassle of the relationship dynamic, so you’re free to spend, spend, spend!

When you force your partner to undergo transformation, only do so slightly – anything too drastic and he might start disregarding every social construct. We don’t want him missing your birthday or the eventual child support checks. Degradation is no longer a factor in your delight of a relationship. You are welcome.

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