Ashley Major
Columnist
Now that Valentine’s Day has passed, leaving us either depressed or broke, it is important to remember that love has never been easy, for anyone at any time. It occurred to me recently, after reflecting upon the various connotations surrounding Valentine’s Day, that our generation does things much differently.
While previous generations have had models, so to speak, of governed etiquette, ordaining the dating “dos” and “don’ts,” our generation appears to be revising the book. While this has proved to be a liberating experience, as much of our social oppression has been relieved, it has also left us amid a generation of struggling 20-somethings, attempting to navigate a world of texts, status updates and hook up culture without a guide. Chivalry is on life support, and it appears the majority seeks relationship advice from “Texts From Last Night.” In an era where being “committed” is synonymous with being “Facebook official,” it seems we ought to change the relationship status of our generation to “it’s complicated.”
As I write this, the 2005 Hollywood remake of Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” plays on my television screen. While I watch the strict conventions of nineteenth century dating etiquette force Elizabeth to fret over the weighty decision to accept a dance from Mr. Darcy at the ball, I smile with admiration at the lost art of courting. In 1986’s “Pretty in Pink,” Duckie comes to rescue the broken-hearted Andie Walsh when she is forced to attend her senior prom alone. While the social constructs of Austen’s world seem romantic but regressive, and the cheesy nature of Duckie’s proclamation of love seems a little much, I can’t help but long for a time when romance and dating possessed decorum.
Attempting to avoid generalization, I must note, however, that it seems we have become lost in translation. Our contribution to the history of romance has been a surplus of casual relationships, “friends with benefits” and one-night stands. Our technologically-based need of instant gratification and mass communication has left us disposable to one another.
Hollywood and scholars alike have caught on to the new way we date. The hit romantic comedy “No Strings Attached,” with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, has epitomized this modern love in (what seems like) a parody of the relationships of some people I know. In a recent Women’s Studies class I took, we read the book “Sex and the Soul,” written by Donna Freitas, which is based on a study of college students immersed in technology and hook up culture and their feelings of dissatisfaction because of it.
While college is a time of casualty and a chance to grow as individuals, it must equally be considered as a time in which meaningful relationships are created. In a generation of change, true liberation and advancement, this new decorum we place on love ought not to be one of expendability, but one of substance, lead by our new era of autonomy.
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