Zombietown

Three types of zombies

Asteroid Zombies – These zombies are created when a fallen meteor brings an alien virus to earth. This virus reanimates the dead for the purpose of eating the living.

Voodoo Zombies – These zombies are not your traditional undead. They are mindless drones that bend to the will of their master, which in most cases is a voodoo witch doctor. Kill the witch doctor and the remaining zombies will snap out of their trance and become normal people again. Subdue your loved ones, as opposed to killing them so they can become human again.

Government Experimental Virus Zombies – These are your common household variety zombie. An experimental virus escapes to the masses and creates zombies. It’s extremely common.

Fortification – Get to a safe place. Stay away from windows and lock all doors. The higher you are, the better-a windowless skyscraper would work. Don’t worry about your loved ones-they’re probably already dead. After shelter, food and water are your main concerns. Fill up your bathtub as soon as you hear of a zombie outbreak, so that you’ll have clean water. For food, stock up on canned goods and dried items.

Weapons – The key to fighting zombies is a durable weapon. A crowbar is your best weapon. It’s durable, quiet, and can be used to open doors. Avoid chainsaws. You want to destroy the brain. This completely kills the zombies. As for gun choice, pistols are small and compact, and shotguns work well when you’re in close quarters with a crowd. A rifle is your best bet for long-range fighting.

Travel – If you must travel, use a bicycle for short distances. It’s quick, and it’s quiet. For longer distances, using a bus or a tank is most advisable.

Endurance (best bet for survival) – A survivor only has to outlive the Zombies, because once they rot away, they’re gone. Depending on the climate, this can take either 1-2 years or 5-6 years in arctic climates. The cold weather preserves zombies, whereas a more tropical climate can act to rot their tissue faster. Beware of snow drifts. You never know when a fallen zombie is waiting for someone to step on them.

Zombie annihilation playlist

As with most killing en masse, a good soundtrack helps the time go by faster. Here are some jams to let out your inner sociopath.

Astro Zombies – Misfits

I Wanna Eat The Living – The Creeping Cruds

Living Dead Girl – Rob Zombie

Dead Girls Don’t Cry – Nekromantix

It’s Been A Hard Day’s Night of the Living Dead – The Zombeatles

Zombie – The Cranberries

If I Only Had A Brain – The Flaming Lips

Zombie – Felakuti & the Afrika ’70

She’s Not There – The Zombies

Dead Man’s Party – Oingo Boingo

Thriller – Michael Jackson