VCU graduate Bernadette Snyder took her vows this past spring, becoming one of nearly 200 consecrated virgins in the U.S., and the first in the Richmond Roman Catholic Diocese’ 188-year record.
“I guess you can say I had an epiphany. I saw what Christ had done for us and I started to realize how he was at work in my life,” Snyder said. “I began to fall in love with God.”
A consecrated virgin is a woman who vows to devote her life to one of chastity. She believes she is essentially married to Jesus Christ.
“In the Catholic Church, a consecrated virgin is a woman who has dedicated herself to a life of virginity or perpetual chastity in the service of God and the church in a form that is recognized by the church,” said Margaret McKinnon, a VCU professor who teaches Catholicism and religious studies.
Snyder resolved to devote her life to God. Although she was open to marriage, Snyder felt an urge to apply her life to God and his followers. She found the concept of choosing one man to share her life difficult to grasp. Snyder was unable to accept being a nun because she thought the lifestyle was too constricted.
On May 25, at St. Michael Catholic Church in Glen Allen, Snyder promised to devote her life to one of chastity. The Mass was presided over by Bishop Francis DiLorenzo from the Richmond Catholic Diocese.
Involved with the Catholic Church from a young age, Snyder attended Mass and Sunday school every weekend. During middle school, her faith developed further and she began to take hold of her own awareness of God. She started embracing God beyond the church.
“When I found out about the Order of Consecrated Virgins, I knew at once that is what I was meant to do. It allows me the freedom to live on my own, pray in my own way, and to be the presence of Christ to everyone equally,” Snyder said.
Snyder received both a bachelor’s degree in mathematical sciences in 2005 and a post-baccalaureate certificate in geographical information systems (GIS) from VCU in 2007.
At the age of 19, Snyder made the decision to enter into the Order of the Consecrated Virgins. There were some concerns that came along with her decision, one being that she would have to live alone. She also was concerned if she would later meet someone she wanted to marry.
Snyder went to her priest and told him about her decision. He asked her to wait until she was 30, before taking her vows. She agreed, and waited until age 29 to go through with her vows.
“It is not unusual for a spiritual adviser to ask someone to wait and explore one’s life options. No one should rush into marriage, religious life or a consecrated lifestyle without serious reflection,” McKinnon said.
A consecrated virgin is not taken care of by the Catholic church. She is not assigned a post within it, and is able to choose where she works. She is not limited to life within the church gates and can choose where she lives. Her purpose within the church is to be the virgin bride of Jesus Christ.
Although Snyder will remain celibate, many people think sex in today’s society is more prevalent than ever before.
However, Daphne Rankin, professor of human sexuality and director of student engagement at VCU said she sees more people making the decision not to have sex, but choosing to remain celibate until they think they are ready.
“I think the idea of, ‘I have to do this as a right of passage,’ days are gone. I don’t see it as pressured as much as you did 20 years ago,” Rankin said.
Rankin said more students of both sexes are remaining chaste until marriage in her classes than ever before. Some say they are not ready to be sexually active.
One issue consecrated virgins face is they will not be able to have children and start a family. They must live alone. Snyder sees these consequences more as a lifestyle choice than her missing out.
“You have to be comfortable with yourself and you have to be comfortable with the reality of a quiet house at the end of the day,” Snyder said. “Of course, it’s been my experience that God fills the time that I would normally spend with a husband and children.”
Snyder is content living the life of a consecrated virgin. She has no regrets about not being able to have children and believes she is able to live her life through God.
“My insight into how truly connected we all are has deepened considerably,” Snyder said. “I marvel each day at the ways in which God makes himself manifest in this world.”