Leave the French maid costumes at home, ladies

Many Halloweens have passed since
the last time most of us went trick or
treating.

In high school, we acted as if we
were too cool for lots of things, including
getting dressed up for candy. But
in college, celebrating Halloween has
suddenly become cool again.

Granted, college students don’t have
many ways of celebrating Halloween
without incurring the disapproval of
society – or at least the Richmond Police
Department – but we have managed to
find some nonetheless.

For example, unlike Hugh Hefner’s
Playmates, who get paid to wear (or
not wear) ridiculous outfits, normal
women can go out in these outfits and
enjoy being hooted and hollered at on
Halloween, the one night of the year it’s
considered OK.

But if we have to go out there and
spend money to look “good,” we deserve
a better selection than costumes sold in
most stores. And for some reason, all the
catalogue models are pictured wearing
three-inch, porn-star heels, which can
hardly be the standard of comfort or
style.

Nearly half of women’s costumes are
variations of Halloween staples, such as
witches, vampires or fairies. The other
costumes are the sexy costumes. You
know what I mean: sexy nuns, policewomen,
nurses, pin-up girls, dancers
and pirate wenches.

What if stores offered more unusual
costumes, such as sexy werewolves or
sexy zombie nuns?

Or what about something decidedly
less sexy? Going door to door for candy
might be more acceptable if women’s
costumes didn’t display their wearers’
tricks and treats.

It would be great to be able to go
trick or treating again without having to
chaperone younger children – maybe if
girls dressed a little less seductively, it
would be less awkward.

Also, some schools, such as VCU,
already foster activities, such as haunted
houses, ghost tours and pumpkin-carving
contests. What harm is there in
having some sort of trick-or-treating
event around the Fan?

I can’t think of any really bad points
of adult trick or treating, besides the
fact that it might be a little weird to see
a costumed adult standing at the front
door. But until that happens, we will have
to settle for Halloween party-hopping to
see and be seen.

We might be older, but we haven’t
completely outgrown pumpkin carving,
decorating, visiting haunted houses or
taking hayrides. Nor have we outgrown
scary movies, although everyone has
a different idea of what constitutes
“scary.” For the record, nothing in any
scary movie has ever terrorized me half
as much as Gloria Swanson in “Sunset
Boulevard.”

And although we can’t pass up free
candy, we can all agree that candy corn
is disgusting, especially Hershey’s candy
corn kisses – no matter how much you
might want to get into the Halloween spirit, stay away from those.