Life-saving crapload
A Chinese woman is alive thanks to a pile of poo. The woman managed to survive the fall from her sixth-floor balcony by falling on a convenient pile of excrement.
The accident happened as the woman was hanging out laundry Monday in the eastern province of Jiangsu.
“Workers happened to be emptying the building’s septic tank, which had not been tended for a long time and had regularly blocked sewage pipes,” the tabloid newspaper Kuaibao said. “She probably stretched out too far and fell … right on to a 20 cm-thick heap of excrement.”
According to the newspaper, the woman suffered only minor injuries.
Last month, a six-year-old girl broke her left leg after falling six floors on to a pile of snow in the northeastern province of Heilongjiang.
Rocker snorts pops
Keith Richards, 63, guitarist from the aging Rolling Stones, said in an interview that once during a drug binge he snorted his late father’s ashes.
The interview appeared in the lastest issue of NME, a music magazine.
“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort?” the Sun tabloid quoted Richards as saying in the interview. “My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared. It went down pretty well and I’m still alive.”
The report said Richards’ father died at age 84 in 2002. Richards said he is proud that he’s managed to survive this long, despite his rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle.
“Some doctors told me I had six months to live, and I went to their funeral.”
Google self-search
Google went in search of something rather important Monday. It was a 3-foot python that had escaped in its Manhattan offices over the weekend.
Kaiser the snake is the pet of a Google Inc. employee.
A Google spokesperson said the snake was finally found on Monday night and taken home by his owner. The spokesperson did not say how the python managed to escape, but assured everyone that this was not an April Fools’ Day joke.
Poo-throwing principal
A Toronto elementary school principal who was fired after pleading guilty to throwing human excrement at a 12-year-old boy might be reinstated in her job.
The circumstances of the assault cannot be described because of a seal on court documents designed to protect the identity of the young victim. The judge on the case said the circumstances were unique.
The 49-year-old principal, a sister of Toronto’s deputy mayor, was granted an absolute discharge on assault charges Monday when a judge declared she’d “already suffered enough.”
Police said in the July 30, 2006 incident the principal threw feces at the boy, which hit him on the shoulder. The boy was not one of her students.
She has been suspended from her job with pay since August 2006. Once the school board completes an investigation of its own, they might return her to her previous position.