the CTube

The mythology and lore Americans have built around our founding fathers is a thing to behold. But Brad Neely’s animated video “Washington” will expand even the greatest presidential scholar’s frame of mind. Did you know, for example, that George Washington:

• Invented cocaine?

• Killed his sensei in a duel, and never said why?

• Will kick you apart?

• Had a wig for his wig?

• Once held an opponent’s wife’s hand in a jar of acid. at a party?

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Looking for an entertaining video on YouTube can be like searching for a needle in a haystack. With users uploading at least 65,000 new videos a day, it’s hard to know what to look for and where to find it. That’s why the CT has created The CTube. Issue to issue, we’ll weed through all the good, bad and ugly that YouTube has to offer to find what we think, at the least, will hold your attention. No need to spend more time than necessary on YouTube when Facebook already concumes half of your day, right?

The two-minute video features wig-clad singers Cox and Combes warning, “Opponents beware/ He’s coming, he’s coming, he’s coming!” Washington starts his day surveying the land on his horse made of crystal accompanied by a Schnauzer dog. He shares some snuff with the ladies before dispensing several British troops by devouring their brains or kicking them in half.

The simple line drawings and rapid-fire delivery quickly wipe clean your preexisting notion of our first president. Perhaps the finest moment is when the beat drops, and we learn, “He’ll save children, but not the British children.” G.W. reads the newspaper as lions and crocodiles munch on little Redcoats. Then he shoves a burning building marked “British School” off a cliff into the sea.

While I can’t delve into all of the facts in a family newspaper – rest assured this is not fit to be shown to first-graders – it only gets better from there.

What do I want to see next from Neely? “Fillmore,” an expos