Ronald Reagan is president. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album has grossed 20 million sales. Martin Luther King Jr. Day becomes a national holiday. Oliver North’s Iran Contra affair develops into national news. This is the decade Sylvester Stallone still lives in.
Two weeks ago, the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Columbia Pictures and Revolution Studios conglomerate announced that the Rocky franchise will return with production of Rocky VI, “Rocky Balboa” starting this December.
On the heels of that news, an announcement comes from Millennium Films, Emmett/Furla Films and Equity Pictures about revitalizing the Rambo franchise. This triumvirate has plans to allocate a $50 million budget for “Rambo IV.”
In the 1980s, Stallone made a killing on the machismo of his character John Rambo. Between 1982 and 1988, the Rambo franchise grossed $614 million worldwide. But since then many things have changed, including Stallone’s age.
His character, Rambo, centers on him being a retired Vietnam veteran. In the past three movies, Rambo plays the typical hero by blowing and shooting up everything in sight to rescue someone in dire straits.
But enough is enough.
To quote Marvin Gaye, “What’s going on?”
Someone needs to tell Stallone his career is about as done as a Thanksgiving turkey. Does he have nothing else better to do than to try and reclaim his past glory? And someone needs to tell these production companies to stop rewarding his ineptitude. This is 2005. Hello? 2005. Rambo doesn’t stand a chance.
If the beleaguered results from 1990s “Rocky V” indicate what could happen to Stallone in a new era, Lord knows what results will emerge from “Rambo IV” in 2006. The American public has grown tired of these remakes of old movies from decades ago. And Hollywood wonders why movie ticket sales are down?
Here’s a silly notion. Be original.
Bringing back the Rambo franchise sure isn’t going to help Hollywood’s profit margin. What are these production studios thinking? Do these executives wake up in the morning saying, “I think now’s the time to bring back Rambo into the mainstream.”
If they keep on financing blunders like “Jersey Girl,” “Alexander,” and all of Ben Affleck’s movies, they’ll be a few dollars away from having to file for Chapter 11 and selling that legendary Hollywood sign sitting among the California hills.
Let’s be serious here. Why would anyone want to go and spend their hard-earned cash on another Rocky or Rambo flick? Many people may say they still find these characters enthralling, and people, mainly high strung testosterone-filled men, still feed from the machismo these characters provide.
Look. Stallone’s a grizzled old man that has no business trying to reinvent himself as a boxer or as a Vietnam veteran running wild in the rain forests. These production companies better have great health insurance policies. Stallone is 59 years old. He could pull a hamstring or a groin while trying to run down one of the “bad guys.” A stunt double or triple might need to be on hand for him.
Why does he want to be in the spotlight once again? Does he feel the need to feed his deflated ego to make himself feel like “the man” again? The only reasonable conclusion must be he needs a big paycheck.
In the past few years, he’s made movies like “Get Carter,” “Stop or My Mom Will Shoot,” “Cop Land” and “The Specialist.” So it’s no wonder that he may be a little light in the wallet. A man will do some crazy things when he’s desperate, and bringing Rambo back to life is perhaps the craziest of them all.
I’m just waiting on Stallone to write the script for Rocky Balboa vs. Rambo. Wouldn’t that be the cr