Scorpio Oct. 24 – Nov. 21
Everyone says Scorpios are great! Why are you so mean to your significant other?
Sagittarius Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
Eat something.
Capricorn Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
A special someone wants to shack up, make T-shirts and do face masks with you.
Aquarius Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
This is the dawning of the age, for you to grow up, Aquarius.
Pisces Feb. 19- March 20
Come out and dance with me Pisces, you’ve been working too hard.
Aries March 21 – April 19
It’s time for you to adopt a pet, you need them as much as they need you.
Taurus April 20 – May 20
Start asking questions, something’s just not right.
Gemini May 21 – June 21
It’s cold out, you need ChapStick – and a new coat, go shopping.
Cancer June 22 – July 22
Ditch him/her, they’re lame and they never liked you anyways.
Leo July 23 – Aug. 22
Time to get active, post flyers, write letters. Today is the day.
Virgo Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
Expect someone to reappear in your life really soon. Time for a sleepover.
Libra Sept. 23 – Oct. 23
Someone told me you were mean to them last week; you need to work on that, buddy.