America has gone absolutely insane. Americans such as myself always need bigger and better things. What is to blame for this?
I blame fountain drinks. For example, the last time I went into the Shafer Dining Hall, I was bombarded with a massive drink that contained 44 ounces of pure beverage. Forty-four ounces.
The sad thing is that most people don’t find that to be excessive because every place is selling drinks this size. If you go to 7-Eleven you will also find unnecessarily large beverages like the “Extreme Gulp” mug and the “Slurp and Gulp.”
In fact, I heard their next drink creation is a 50-gallon trash can that has a hose running from it that you can drink from. Best of all, it fits perfectly in the passenger seat next to you in your car. The sad thing, though, is that someone out there still won’t think it’s enough.
But the bigger and better theme does not stop here. Look at sports utility vehicles, if you will. Do we need these cars? No, no we don’t. Do they get low gas mileage? Yes, yes they do.
But hey, you’ve got to love them because after all, they sure are wasteful. And last time I checked being wasteful is fun! Not as fun as the Cold War, but almost.