Ask the Baroness

Dear Baroness,

Why is it that when girls say “nothing’s wrong,” it means I’ve made the biggest mistake in my life?

-The Jerk

Dear The Jerk,

Or is it Mr. Jerk? Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to lay this out for you to understand. You’re not really a jerk unless you really did something wrong. But then again, you’re a man, so it’s inevitable. Just kidding.

Simply put, girls say that because usually they don’t want to be bothered by you. When you repeatedly ask “what’s wrong?” they tend to think something’s wrong because you’ve asked them one too many times. Take it like this: next time a girl says “nothing’s wrong” just take it for what it’s worth. I wouldn’t push the subject any more.

From my experience, women may say “nothing’s wrong” when there really is something wrong, however, they just don’t feel like talking about the problem yet. Perhaps they’re sick and tired of the fact that you will ask what’s wrong, just because you feel like you must, not because you really care. Honestly, how far into the conversation do you really listen?

Next time, see what happens when you don’t ask what’s wrong. Most likely, she’ll just yell at you for not asking, but then again, once she says “nothing’s wrong,” you usually know you’re going to wind up in a fight anyway. Might as well really do something wrong and pretend not to care. Way to go, Jerk. You’ve lived up to your name quite well.

Sincerely,

The Baroness