Tomato color determines protester’s penalty
A German protester found out the hard way that a tomato’s consistency factors into the punishment for throwing it at someone. Because the man threw a yellow tomato he is facing more severe charges than if the tomato had been red. Red tomatoes are softer than yellow, which factors into the punishment. People who throw green tomatoes could face even more severe charges.
Look out Steve Irwin
A 41-year-old man was sentenced to six months in jail for swinging an alligator at his girlfriend. David Havenner pleaded no contest to misdemeanor charges of battery and possession of an alligator in Daytona Beach, Fla. Havenner kept the 3-foot long alligator in his bathtub and assaulted his girlfriend, Nancy Monico, 39, with it during an argument. During the argument, Havenner repeatedly hit Monico and swung the alligator at her when she attempted to leave, striking her with it at least once. He then kicked her out of their mobile home, she told investigators. However, Havenner told investigators Monico bit his hand when she found out they ran out of alcohol.
Puppy shoots man
In an act of self-preservation a puppy in Florida shot a man. Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, was in the process of shooting seven puppies because he couldn’t find them a home when one he was holding in his arm put his paw on the trigger causing it to discharge. The four puppies that survived have been deemed healthy and put up for adoption.
Rebel yell – for office help
A rebel group in northeast India has published job advertisements for office secretaries and assistants for the parallel government, which has been running for decades. The National Socialist Council of Nagaland will conduct written tests next month as the group searches for people to fill the positions of undersecretary, section officers and assistant section officers. The council was outlawed until 1997 when the group agreed to a cease-fire with the Indian government. Since then the group has been known to collect taxes, administer justice and run its own administrative services.
German minister advocates beer for health
Wolfgang Clement, Germany’s economic minister, said beer should be included on the country’s health service. Clement, 64, can reportedly down a beer in 1.5 seconds and wants to give citizens the ability to obtain beer prescriptions. A professor at the Graz neurological clinic, Manfred Walzl, said beer reduces the risk of stroke and heart attack, improves circulation and even acts as an aphrodisiac as long as excess amounts are not consumed.
Lion hides in toilet
Locals in the town of Nyamhunga, Zimbabwe tried driving three lions out of town by throwing stones at them – but one lion went the other way and sought refuge in a public bathroom. Rangers caught the lion and released it back into the wild.
Rebel’s son rebels
Dragomir Antonic, a member of the Serbian Radical Party, is running in a Belgrade election on Sept. 19 – but his campaign is facing derailment from his son Lazar. Lazar started a “Don’t Vote for my Dad” campaign because he thinks the policies his father and the party he represents are bad, but said that he still maintains a good relationship with his dad. Dragomir concurred and said that no matter what happens, Lazar will always be his son.
Elephants and transvestites
After competing in a 14-team round-robin tournament of elephant polo, the Screwless Tuskers were defeated on the final day in Thailand. The team, the only one composed entirely of transvestites, lost 2-0 against the DBS Bank Ladies.