Virgo: When life gives you lemons, make fruity cocktails.
Libra: The grass is always greener when you haven’t cut it in a few weeks.
Scorpio: A penny saved isn’t actually worth its own weight in copper, that’s why they use zinc.
Sagittarius: Your stress isn’t helping you or anyone else out. Buy one of those inflatable punching baloons.
Capricorn: The next week will go by like a month, but on the bright side that means a really long weekend.
Aquarius: You feel like you’re on top of things. Good. Just don’t mess it up by volunteering for extra duties you can’t manage.
Pisces: If you love someone, set them free. If you don’t love someone, why are you hanging on to them in the first place?
Aries: Try bumping up your wardrobe-spiffiness level one notch sometime in the next few days. Now, isn’t recieving compliments fun?
Taurus: “Their’s not to make reply/Their’s not to reason why/Their’s but to do and die …” -Lord Alfred Tennyson. What does it mean? Keep your head down and don’t ask questions.
Gemini: You will recieve a gift or compliment this week and wonder at its real intent. That’s okay, you may be justified in this.
Cancer: Don’t believe in things you don’t understand, unless your teacher is just having a hard time explaining it.
Leo: You may be feeling nostalgic this week. If so, remember that if you’re currently going to college, it’s doubtful that you’ve peaked already.