Zodiac Cookies


If someone asks you for directions this week, stop and help out. You’ll need that karma once you get lost going to graduate school.


Charming as you are, you have the ability to make people eat out of the palm of your hand. Be sure to wash it first.


You may be fooled into thinking some dumb writer is a grand oracle of some description.


It’s not always the bad guys who wear black. Sometimes it’s also Johnny Cash wannabes.


Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you can take Ibuprofen.

Aquarius: Running around in circles is only frustrating if you don’t think about all the exercise you’re getting.


Your favorite TV show in syndication will be an episode you’ve already seen, but at least it’s a good one.


Try the NASCAR philosophy today: don’t be afraid to give those in your way a little bump, but always be sure to thank all the sponsors who have helped you along the way.


Don’t try and cut every corner with your upcoming assignment. They’ll find out when you turn in a round piece of paper.


Victory is yours. Don’t be afraid to celebrate, but avoid gloating.


News may come from afar. I didn’t say it was good news.


For those wanting to curl up in a ball and die, look at the example of the cat: they curl up into a ball, sure, but they just sleep and generally wake up in a better mood.

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