Aries:
An eye for an eye only leads to you having the eye of somebody you didn’t like in the first place.
Taurus:
Your regular routine needs shaking up. Lucky you, the semester’s starting!
Gemini:
You can shirk your duties this week by being obstinate. That doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, but you can do it.
Cancer:
Denial isn’t a river in Egypt, but Lake Titicaca is, in fact, just a lake.
Leo:
If you’re thinking about kicking a bad habit, go for it. If you don’t have any bad habits, there may be a reason you’re having a hard time finding things to do on the weekends.
Virgo:
Read The Commonwealth Times, and you will have happy feelings!
Libra:
Figure out a better way to deal with pressure than being snippy with loved ones.
Scorpio:
It may feel like you’re taking a step backward this week. The only thing to do about it for now is to make sure you’re stepping gracefully.
Sagittarius:
No time for love, Dr. Jones! Keep focused on work this week–that cute smile will still be there once you’re less busy.
Capricorn:
Remember the movie “Pay it Forward?” Yeah, well don’t expect those around you to.
Aquarius:
I know what you’re wondering, and the answer is: yes, no, no, maybe and always, even when just changing lanes or merging into traffic.
Pisces:
Today’s lucky number is: none of them. Avoid numbers today, especially fractions that can be expressed as repeating decimals.