Zodiac Cookies

Aries: You will have nightmares about your friends not wanting to go swimming with you. Beware!

Taurus: Your chances of falling in love today are about the same as snow in the springtime. Oh, wait…

Gemini: Your defining characteristics come from all of the things you don’t have in common with Gilbert Godfrey.

Cancer: The letters P, O and A are going to be very important to your marital status.

Leo: Don’t corner people in the bathroom for gossip – it really stinks.

Virgo: Do unto the grasshopper what you would have the grasshopper do unto you.

Libra: A walk on the beach will be your temporary solution to all life’s

Scorpio: Don’t base your telephone answering habits on your caller ID. Fate, destiny, fame and fortune aren’t listed and they won’t show up.

Sagittarius: Have a dorm party, supply Ramen Noodles.

Capricorn: Your key phrase today will be “Wuz Up?” Your key phrase tomorrow will be “Excuse my stupidity.”

Aquarius: The letters M, A, R, I, N and E will be key in your romantic future


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